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Problems Vampires Have, Page 9
This has problems pertaining to dealing with "everyday" (everynight?) things for real vampires. It can get in a light vein, but I would prefer it to be mainly enlightening (jeez, can I quit with these day puns, already???) as to actual problems that vampires have to deal with on a day-to-day (aaarrrggghhh!!!) basis.
Contributed by Raven Blood
Since I'm still in school, I still have to do PE; this means over an hour in the sun (in the summer).
Getting asked by my friends, "Why don't you sit in the sun? Are you a vampire or something?" They think this is funny since they don't know I am.
Getting asked why I'm squinting on an overcast day (my school doesn't allow me to wear sunglasses or hats), replying, "It's too bright and too hot," and getting told that I'm weird.
Getting told I look ill and that I should go lie down.
Having my parents tell me that I'll be unhealthy if I don't go out and "enjoy the sunshine".
Standing in the lunch queue, in the middle of summer. [Presumably, this is outside...? -- Sanguinarius]
Looking like a panda when I do wear my sunglasses.
Having to go to the opticians and having them shine those nasty bright lights in my eyes.
Being blinded in the mornings when my mum opens the curtains and declares that it's a lovely day.
Contributed by anonymous
One time I wore my vampire caps to our local Rennaisance Faire and everything was going fine for a while. Then, Sir Walter Raleigh saw my "teeth" and he thought I was a demon or something. He started yelling, "Get this person exorsized! They are evil!" This lady comes up and starts throwing Holy Water on my clothes. I looked at her like she's crazy. The good thing is that Sir Walter Raleigh decided to give up on me, so he said, "You have now been almost fully cleansed of the evil spirit. To finish your exorcism, run 3 times around the square and do a few push-ups."
Contributed by Sarafina1313@go.com
I was driving home from school last night. You guys would know how it is...street lights and oncoming headlights...nasty bright things.
Anyway, there I am crusing down the road when I see blue and red flashing lights in the mirror. I pull over and a police officer comes to my door.
I ask, "Good evening Officer, what is the problem?"
He says, "Evening. Tell me, do you always drive at 9 pm without headlights?"
I think...ooops. I say, "Sorry, must have missed that."
He says, "How in the name of god can you see anything? You have no headlights on and...are you wearing sunglasses?"
I think...shit. I say, "Errr...prescription glasses."
He shakes his head and says, "You youngsters are a weird lot."
I will always turn my headlights on and take my sunnies off at night. *I am sending myself a memo!*
Take care...be safe. *Always use your headlights. ; )*
Contributed by Lilly the Twit
Attempting to convince your mother you really DO have a fever. "But Mom, 98 IS a fever for me!!"
Feeling really guilty for giving in to cliches when you buy Ann Rice books.
Family Vacations at the Beach. Enough said.
A school year of hell, when fate casts you in the seat next to the huge windows.
People asking if they can watch your fangs retract.
Deciding what to be for Halloween. I mean, what's the point?
When daylight savings time ends and you have to wait for the bus every morning in the FRICKIN SUNSHINE!
If you're in a band, being accused of being gimmicky.
People that spell vampire with a "Y"! Their mere existance annoys me to no end.
Contributed by SaucyJackky
Eerie America TV Series
Eerie America could very well be called The Fodors Travel Guidebook for The Addams Family. I read some in-depth information about the show and saw the promo, and from what I can tell, this will be an absolutely AWESOME series if they can get it off the ground. (I'm actually praying they will.) Let others know and see who can help. This is something that should happen! Let's pull together and make it so!
New Orleans Vampire Association
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