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Problems Vampires Have, Page 5

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This has problems pertaining to dealing with "everyday" (everynight?) things for real vampires. It can get in a light vein, but I would prefer it to be mainly enlightening (jeez, can I quit with these day puns, already???) as to actual problems that vampires have to deal with on a day-to-day (aaarrrggghhh!!!) basis.

--Sanguinarius


For those of us vampires unlucky enough to be in the military, how the hell can one do their job, when all I can think about is tearing out my c.o's jugular? And, when in combat, is it wrong to feed off enemy troops, if that chance came to be? The rules of the army make my way of living so hard... Short of getting out, how can I be what I am and stay in the army?

Contributed by PLLWREN@aol.com


When it gets cold, and I have been outside in the cold, and I come inside to where it's warm, my sunglasses will fog up and stay that way until they have warmed up. In the meantime, it doesn't do any good to wipe the fog off, because they will re-fog.

--Sanguinarius


Sarah Dorrance relates the following experiences from Bloodstock '98:--

Whoa. What a weekend.

Well, at least I did manage (however involuntarily) to conduct one of my proposed experiments on myself: What are the effects of starvation, if my psyche and body do not go into "shut-down" mode after grokking that my needs will not be met anytime soon? (Last time I went without feeding for years, I was in a state of numbness, exhaustion, and depression, and I suspect that I still fed at a very low level from Scott and from those around me, just not on blood or on massive amounts of life force - picking fights with people is after all an easy way to get them riled up enough to soak some energy out of them. Obviously not enough to really do much good.)

The last day I fed, until this weekend, was 13 July (possibly 12 July - I'm a bit foggy about this).

I lost most of my stored-up, borrowed pranic energy on the flight to America, because I do not travel well and long-distance flights take a nasty toll on me. I was further weakened by sulfa drugs, which were being used to treat a case of cystitis; the sulfa drugs were taken for seven days, and the *mundane* effects (on normal people) include severe dehydration, dizziness, and photosensitivity (you can imagine how this would affect me. Yes, folks, the cure was much worse than the ailment). Finally, I did not feed from Scott. Today's date is - um - 27 July. I fed on Saturday night/Sunday morning (depending on your perspective) so that makes for about two weeks of prolonged starvation while in a weakened condition.

The first week was not so bad; fatigue, headaches, urinary discomfort due to the cystitis (sorry if that was too personal, I'm trying to be as clinical as possible), thirst due to the drugs, low sex drive, mild depression.

The second week was when the reality of my situation really hit home. My appetite for food completely diminished, aside from my usual milk cravings, which intensified (the only explanation I can come up with is that milk is liquid protein, and easily digestible). I started getting severe PMS (Murphy's law, here -- I did not time my starvation to coincide with my menstrual cycle). The headaches worsened, as did the fatigue. I developed dizzy spells -- by Wednesday of the second week, I was blacking out and swooning nearly every time I stood up from a sitting or reclining position. My arthritis had become a constant nuisance. I had a couple of athsma attacks. My mental state was not wonderful either -- I had begun to obsess about blood. Failing that, any substitute. Fellatio seemed to keep the worst of it at bay, but while sperm is rich in energy of both a physical and psychic sort, and has roughly the same chemical composition as blood, it wasn't quite the same.

When I arrived at the Bloodstock convention, I was faint, dizzy, shaky, thirsty, not at all hungry for solid food, achy in the joints, and very obsessive. I found the latter state particularly disturbing. One person had a neat trick of flexing his hand in such a way that he could actually move his veins from side to side; I shuddered and looked away because I had started to get stomach pains and my mouth was watering. The same sort of reaction happened when people would play with knives, which happened on three occaisions. It took actual effort not to do something embarrassing. I don't think I would have lunged at anyone unless that person actually cut him/herself, but the salivation and tendency to stare and heavy breathing and so on disturbed me enough that I didn't want to expose myself to temptation. It is enough to say that I actually looked away violently in each case of exposure to a potential source of blood, rather than facing such temptations with my usual blandness (I am good at being phlegmatic when the situation calls for it, as a general rule -- such as the time a former lover walked into my room with a gashed-open, dripping arm and asked for first aid).

Eventually one of the attendees of the convention was "given" to me as a playtoy (by someone who probably intended on handing me this collared, manacled "slave" as a joke) and we went upstairs to converse (because I took the "joke" seriously and wanted to find out my slave's limits and needs. I never have been good at picking up on jokes; I'm very literal-minded). He offered himself as a food source, I held out courageously for all of maybe ten minutes (I barely knew him, but damn, I was hungry; oh well) and we necked for a little while (ahem) until he pulled out his knife, which he said was sharp but was mostly good for cutting butter. I had left my razor blades in my hotel room, far away from the house where the convention was being held. So I got no more than a tiny taste of blood for all that. Still, I did manage to get *something* while playing with him -- he experienced a drain, and I in turn experienced...something hard to put into words. So did he. There was a connection made. He was a bit of a skeptic before the experience (one reason he offered himself was because he wanted to see what would happen) and I'm afraid he now believes in the vampiric experience, which is currently boggling his mind. I got no sleep that night - I was too keyed up - and made up for it by sleeping in the car on the way home, taking a nap upon arrival, and getting twelve more hours of sleep last night. I am still hungry, but not nearly as weakened and obsessive.

I don't want to repeat this experience again if I can help it. The intensity of my hunger was terrifying and humiliating.


Here are some things that REALLY bug me...

  • When you have to make an appointment for the doctor or the dentist and the receptionist says to you "How about 9.20am"!!! Yeah right!!
  • When you have to tell friends and family that you visit to turn the lighting and brightness on the TV down or you'll have to sit there with your dark glasses on!
  • When you get accused of being a junkie when a 'normal' person sees you licking the blood off a friend's arm who's cut themselves by accident whilst you're in a cafe!
  • When so-called friends think that you're just being difficult when you tell them you can't meet them until after dark (that can be 10pm here)!
  • When any males that find out you're a vampyre think that you'll want their blood, even though you have a steady partner!
  • When people think you can do an exchange of sex for blood!
  • When your parents think you're mental!
  • When people look at you strangely because you have to wear dark glasses in the cinema!
  • When people who hear you're a vampyre but have never seen you expect you to dress/look like Elvira or Lily Munster.
  • When they think you're immortal!
  • When they think you can turn them into a vampyre!

That's all I can think of for now... Any other female vampyres are welcome to contact me.

Contributed by Cynarra

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