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Sangi's Corner

In this section, I present stories of teen vampires' awakenings and experiences while going through their awakenings. It's fairly new, so there's not a lot here, yet. If you are a teen vampire who has awakened, is awakening, or an older vampire who awakened during your teens, and would like to share your experiences, please send them to me. Be sure to and include your name/nickname and email address (if you wish) that you want me to include for the credit, and permission to reprint your submission. Tip: Pretend that you're writing it for your English class. ;)

--Sanguinarius

[ Awakening Stories: p1 - p2 - p3 - p4 - p5 ]

My name is Steve and I am 18. I am a sanguinarian and I hail from the unfortunate land of Australia (unfortunate for vampires, that is -- you can guess why). You'll have to excuse me, as my memory isn't all that clear on some of the events of 4 years ago.

My awakening started when I was 13, almost turning 14. I guess I'd always been the nocturnal one of the family, the one who would want to stay up late on a school night and just watch the next show on TV, or the one who would complain about going to bed. I was also very, very prone to sunburn from a young age. Within 10 minutes of being on the beach I would turn into a tomato, and my skin would begin peeling. It was the summer of 2003 and the city I live in had just suffered from a huge string of bushfires that ravaged the land and burnt down many houses. My parents had planned a holiday up to the coast, and I decided to tag along.

The weather was insane. It was literally around 50 degrees (celcius), and I distinctly remember trying to walk with some severe heat rash...not nice. As you usually are on hot days, I was EXTREMELY thirsty all day. Still being a young 'un, I didn't want just water, I wanted soda or cordial or something sweet. So I had a glass of raspberry cordial and surely enough I was thirsty again with two minutes. I had a glass of water and was thirsty AGAIN. I tried everything in liquid form in the tent -- water, soda, coffee, tea, beer, wine...nothing seemed to help.

The cravings persisted for long after that camping trip, until about three or four months later, when I started to realize my senses had become more tuned, more refined...I was able to hear little noises that none of my other family members could hear; I could literally see spitting rain. I could suddenly see, hear and feel everything in minute details!

I can't remember when it was that I got my first taste for blood, although I know one of the first instances -- being summer, I would frequently be the recipient of bloody noses brought about by heat. I would sit in class staring off into space, feel something wet on my top lip, put my finger to it and see that I was bleeding. Every time I got a bloody nose in class a smile would come to my face -- hell YES...I was able to get out of class! So I hurried to the bathroom and stood at the sink for about 15 minutes...As the blood flowed freely into my mouth I found a different smile on my face -- those horribly persistent cravings had vanished. It took a week or two to put two and two together about the cravings.

Now, coming from a heavily Christian family really introduces you to the art of having a closed mind, so I freaked out. I couldn't tell anyone -- neither family or friends. My family would send me to a mental asylum or label me a Satanist (which they did in later years, more on that to come), and my friends would simply laugh at me for an hour straight, and then abandon me all together. So I began to keep a journal of what I was feeling, and also printed off articles from sanguinarius.org and stuck them in for research.

After about a month my Mum cleaned out my room and found the said journal, and all the snippets and stories that I'd written in there. Both my parents had a "serious" chat to me about being so caught up in this whole internet fantasy world, and being too "Gothic" and all sorts of crap like that. They soon started calling me a Satanist when I started listening to heavy metal music to relieve my familial tensions. I WAS involved in the practice of Witchcraft, but not of worshipping Satan. Every time they came into my room they took my journals, my spell books, my CDs and posters and burned the lot in a metal garbage can.

This was about the time I started wearing sunglasses in school, and was moving away from the "Jock" and "Gangster" groups I hung out with -- mainly because they sat in the sun constantly, and I would be forever nagging them to move in the shade. After I moved from that group, I started making more friends, who somehow found out about me being a vampire (to this day I still don't know how, and it seems like they just shrugged that part off. It's like they don't care, but they still know).

As a relief, I began practising autovampirism. It helped with the Thirst only a small amount, but it was relief nonetheless. It would be two years before I found my first donor.

I graduated high school fairly smoothly and ended up in Year 11 (which is college for us). I soon found a nice little group of outcasts that I began hanging around with during school hours, and even sooner did the Thirst spark up again (after spending the entire school holidays trying to fight the bloody thing off!). I began getting migraines and severe drowsiness during daylight hours. It would take me a lot of effort just to stay awake for the fifteen minute bus trip home.

I'm not show how the question was provoked, or if they knew, but one of my friends suddenly asked me, "Would you like to drink my blood?" Of course, I jumped at the opportunity.

We went down under the shade of a tree near the lake, and sat down. She pulled out a sterile razorblade and made an incision in her wrist, and held it out of my mouth while I lay down and drank deeply.

I only fed from her three times, and after that, coming across a donor was hard to find, what with all the bad things happening around me and to me.

This year (2007), I stopped going to school and started hanging out with the freaks again. (I'd have to say Emo people are fun, because they're always willing to cut themselves. *thumbs up*) Among those freaks, I found a few other Vampyres as friends. I have even found several donors who regularly let me feed from them. Even last night, I found out that my housemate's best friend is a Sang. Small world, eh?

So I guess the moral of my story and my message to newly Awakened Sang/Psi vamps, those who are still Awakening and those going through the same sort of things I've gone through is to PERSIST. It may not be easy to put up with sunlight problems, the occasional burden of enhanced senses, and especially the THIRST, but everything gets better in the end. Never give up, and hopefully one day we'll see YOUR Awakening story here, and I can look back on it and relate to the issues you experienced.

Please add me to your MSN Messenger -- lord.astennoth-libertine (at) hotmail.com
I am always on the lookout for Vampyres to talk to on the internet. =]

Contributed by Steve

Hi there, I'm Tim. I'm 16 and I believe for the past few months I could be awaking.
I've always been a bit "different" per se. But for these past few months I've been seeing things about me that are closely if not exactly related to being a sang/psy vampire.

For the past few years, I've been able to read people and feel how they are feeling. It's quite bothersome, really. But, as I was saying, I find myself staring at people and start feeling how they look (happy, sad, angry, etc.) and then feeling more, uhm, alive? I don't know what word I'm looking fo,r but I'm sure you get the point.

But as for the sang part of this, I've always had a love for blood. The taste, smell, and sight of it overflows me with quite a few thoughts. My other friends and I have always shared blood just for the love of it. But lately I've needed to drink it or I would be sad, angry, or a multitude of other bad emotions.

The sun has always bothered my skin and eyes and gives me headaches. I rarely go out and I can see fine at night. I can hear other things people say they don't, and so on. My doctor has even told me I'm not normal because my core temperature is always low and my heart beats slower and whatnot. (Could be from how much I weigh but hey, who knows?.)

I've always been interested in vampires. I have never had friends. The ones I do have are into vampires and the things of this sort, so I hold them close. My girlfriend has also talked to me about this. Her best friend is a sang vamp. As I was saying, over the past months things have changed in my life. The need for blood, the better sight at night, the hearing of sounds no one hears, and so on and so forth. So I do believe that I am awaking into what I really have in my body. Unlike some others though, I welcome this fully and understand what I must do for me to survive.

Contributed by Tim

So begins my story. I am 13, and am enduring my awakening. The other day, I came home early with a migraine and an extremely bad nosebleed; this happened for the rest of the week. My parents think there is something wrong with me, or I am inflicting this upon myself (I'm not). They are making me take sleeping pills at night, which do not help the slightest bit. I am going through a deep depression; many things have begun to change about me and the people around me.

I realised that I am a psivamp, because the people around me are tired and sick all the time. These headaches are not from the sun alone, I know that much. My mother has been watching the history of the computer, and finding that I have been on many vamp sites, so now she also thinks I'm crazy. I am so tired all the time; I found myself sleeping in the commons before school started. I dont think anyone saw but...I guess you never know. I can't control myself. I'm feeding off of energy involuntarily. I just can't help myself. Am I crazy? Am I losing it? I really need some help right now. there are to many closed minded nils around me that I can't tell.

I would really appreciate some advice. Please e-mail me if you get the chance. I just don't know what to do anymore.

COntributed by Paige

[Sangi note: If you have some advice for Paige, email it to teenvamps@gmail.com and one of my Helpers will review it and forward it on to her; some advice might be posted in Teen Vampires, if we feel it may benefit others, as well.]

My awakening was one that began at the age of 13, when I was first approached by a female spirit that whispered into my ear a word that I cannot recall at such a later point of my life. I know that at that time I was not scared nor truly aware of what it was that just happened to me. I knew that this was the start of what I began as my quest for knowledge.

I found myself studying the different types of magic, cults and abilities that were similar to whatever I started to feel or experience at that time. As I began to experience new abilities (reading souls, channeling, dreams, past lives recollection and spirit awareness), I attempted to reach out and find the answers to my new questions. This confused me because with each experience, another book would lead me into another direction, never down the right path. Yet, I believe that these different directions provided me with the knowledge to grow and question what was right for me.

My awakening started for me throughout my life, yet I was in denial of accepting it. Whenever I began to have the psychic abilities I would try to suppress them. I was afraid of change and wanted to feel normal and fit in just like every other person. This was not as easy as I thought and instead was able to suppress for a period of a couple of years my gifts.

This brings me to the recent, in which I began to fully awake within the past month. I always enjoyed literature and cinema on vampires, even visualizing being changed into one. I was no different than others who have dreamt of being a vampire or of even being approached by one. I must confess that although this was very seductive, I had no belief that it was true or that they even existed whether as mortals (as we are) or as the immortals portrayed in literature.  A strange thing began when I started to read a novel that was written by a very popular author on a clan of vampires who were ancient and warriors (defenders of the less strong vampires). The book was unlike any that I had read and found that the author had been very graphic on the feeding scenes (which of course since it is a novel, include sexual encounters).  I found myself growing closer and closer to enjoying the feeding and the lust that also accompanied it. I start to feel certain needs and begun to feel things that were not part of any book that I had read. My canine upper teeth begun to feel as if they were being pulled downward (close to what one would consider as “growing”), then I begun to feel a hunger for blood and a craving to be with someone for this act. I also started to see certain people with my minds eye in a red light, similar to when a person is in a dark room and the only light is a red light that illuminates that room. I began to also “hiss” at people that I did not even know or have reason to. The sun began to bother my eyes and my awareness of certain people around me became apparent, while all the other crowds of people began to fade into the scenery.

I decided to research whether there were vampires out in society today, since I figured that I could not be the only one that felt this way. As I had suspected, there were many different groups and I join a couple that focused on real vampires (so their explanation of their groups referred to). I found one that seemed to be of interest and then was surprised to be contacted by one member the following day that I had joined.

As we spoke together via “IM chat” I started to feel a hunger and a lust that, when speaking with this person, I began to say things that were sexual and blood related. I could not control myself and even surprised myself. I felt that I had turned like a savage or primitive person with needs. It was during this conversation that I began to feel a weight on my chest that made it hard to breathe, although it did not last too long. I began to feel lightheaded as if I had taken some type of drug (which I do not), and a tremendous feeling of energy that made my heart race (similar to running a mile). I felt as if there was also a sexual energy and I had to stop my conversation with my newly found friend, enjoying the feeling. I saw, in my mind’s eye, a woman dressed in a white toga with black hair, red shiny lips and very fair skin. She was very seductive and desirable, yet I am not a lesbian.  I felt as if this was the same woman that had come to me years before when I was 13 and who whispered in my ear.

The next morning I was energized and felt as if the three hours of sleep that I had the previous night was sufficient. My hunger was gone and I felt as if I was again a mundane (human only), but this was short lived. I began to feel different, powerful, and the sensitivity of my teeth still remained, yet would only come when I was in need of a feeding. The sun itched and made my skin very sensitive to the touch, I begun to see other people who looked to be vampires, and I was also having the dreams and memory recalls of long ago when I was approached by a vampire who changed me (another story).

Some say that my awakening is not real since it happened so late in my life, but I find that the real beginning of my awakening started when I was very young. I have since then, contacted and spoken with other vampires on the subject, as well as had vampires contact me, telling me that they were told by some inner force to contact me through past responses to group messages, sites, etc. Strangely each one has either told me that there was something powerful in my eyes (available pictures of me), or that I was one of the older vampires changed not of this time (ancient), and these are sometimes mentioned by each individual that has contacted me.

An awakening, in my opinion is a personal experience that not everyone will report as being the same. It also can come at any stage in one’s life, mainly because the society that we live in and the teachings that we have received through mundane (parents, teachers, religious leaders) has numbed our true selves. We have been prevented from becoming what we are to be in our lives. As children we are told not to do things without fully understanding why, told by friends when very young (or even now) that thinking you are a vampire, donor, etc. is “crazy thinking” and that you might need help. I say to all those that are experiencing the awakening and transformation, be of open mind and be true to yourself, let no one diminish your real being but find out who you are…

Contributed by Mistresschanger

-----
Copyright: Permission to republish any parts of this article requires preapproval from writer at lovelylady1215 (at) yahoo.com.

Hi, I'm James. I'm 15 years old, and I am a sang vampire that has recently finished awakening.

My awakening was about a year ago, although I didn't understand what was happening until two months ago when I found http://www.sanguinarius.org. About six months ago was when I first "drank" blood. It was the day after New Year's and my girlfriend and I were partying all through the morning. We were partying at her friend's house and most of her friends have cut themselves at one point or another. Anyway, I went to go see a friend of hers and I found him in the corner cutting his arm with a razor. Before I could react I had grabbed his arm and I was licking the blood up. The guy jumped up and he ran out of the room screaming, "James is a vampire! James is a vampire!"

Most people disregarded what the guy said, BUT some people in that group believe him. Unfortunately, one of the people that did believe him was my girlfriend, so we broke up.

So the things that changed in my life during my awakening were:

1. My ability to see at night. I can see alot better at night now
2. My cravings and what I eat. I eat alot more meat than I used to
3. My senses are slightly higher. I hear things a lot better and my sight is better now

The things that haven't changed in my life during my awakening:

1. My social life. I can stand the sun better than most vampires and I enjoy a good sunbath

If anyone wishes to contact me, if they are confused or worried about their awakening, or if they are going through an awakening, add me. My public email is lemony_snicket54 (at) hotmail.com

Contributed by James

My name is Sarina and I'm 18. All my life I've been lithe and pale even though both my parents are naturally dark olive skinned. I'm hybrid and all my life I've had to deal with the light sensitivity; when I was younger my family moved to Fiji, in the South Pacific, for a few years and I was forever being sunburned after hardly any time in the sun.

My awakening started when I was about 13. Starting high school, not having any friends, and on top of all that, blood cravings, irritability, drainings, and mood swings. My parents put it all down to what happens in "that time in a girl's life when her body changes". But I felt it was something more. In high school, I was always thought of as weird. I kept to myself a lot and so I had the "freak" reputation plastered firmly to my forehead.

As I got older, I realised that I had to find out more about what was happening to me, and after doing some research, came to the unobtrusive conclusion that I must be a Vamp. I found it really hard to deal with in the beginning because it just wasn't something I'd ever considered before. After a while though, I began to feel that I could be comfortable being myself, whatever that was. I had one friend who became my first donor and our relationship grew into the most impenetrable friendship ever. Even now that she's moved away, we still are really close.

I began dating my boyfriend about a year ago and we've only recently found out that being a vampire is the biggest thing we have in common. I suppose that's the thing that must've attracted us to each other. I'm not sure, but I'm glad we're together. We share everything about being vamps, and teens, with each other, and I believe that he helps me through the hard times.

Contributed by Sarina

Hey, I'm a hybrid vampyre who's only 14. I think I've finished my awakening now (hope!) and I wanted to share my story w/ other vamps, teen vamps, and awakening vamps out there.

This is extremely hard for me to talk about, I will admit it, so please forgive me if this starts off slowly. I'm still a bit freaked and scared, not as much as before, but it's still hard to open up.

Now that I look back, I realize that I had many classic signs of being a vampyre since I was born -- nocturnalism, very cool body temperature, quiet/slow heart rate and breathing (ever wake up at one in the afternoon and find your mom standing over you wailing?), super-pale skin, increased senses, extremely sensitive eyes and skin, you know the drill.

I was awakened to my vampyrism in early November, about a year ago. I think it was when I gashed the back of my right hand open (on accident). The blood came gushing out and my first instinct was to drink it. Naturally, I freaked out and got extremely scared. Since then...ugh. I started trying to figure things out - and I know we've all gone through this, but believe you me: awakening is absolute f**king hell. The physical pain and distress, the emotional pain and distress, with your eyes burning right out of their sockets and people's moods flooding in on you because you have no idea how to block them, falling asleep in class because you were awake all night, on and on...

Sorry. I am finished ranting.

Over the next several months, I became aware of my psi powers (I am unusually strong when it comes to this. Ten minutes in the same room with me and people start falling asleep) and started learning how to deal with my various symptoms, problems, and traits. I went through a lot of emotional and physical changes, life changes. A word to the awakening: life will change. The changes might be big, or they might be small, but life changes. For me, it was mostly:

1. Increased senses.
2. Sun bothering the sh*t out of my eyes and skin. Being a tomato and going around with a squint is not fun. Buy sunglasses. Use sunscreen. Lots of it.
3. Going from "I go to bed at one in the morning and get up at eleven" to "I go to bed at about seven in the morning and get up the moment the sun sets".
4. I used to be the color of snow. I now look like I have been dead and six feet under for three weeks.
5. I have now started being a bit more Goth and dark than before, but I still wear the same clothes (jeans and a sports shirt). I wear a little more black now, but it was mostly my makeup and jewelry that took the turn. (I do enjoy role-playing. Hee hee.)
6. Absolute FLOODS of other people's emotions. I am on a constant rollercoaster.
7. Do not ask me why, but I have developed a sudden liking of very cold temperatures. I try to keep my room at about 50° (Fahrenheit), maybe 55° at most.

I just want to tell the other vamps out there to hang on. You're going to be OK. Look for others of the community, online, wherever. Just try and find someone to talk. I can tell you, it really does help to vent. Keep a journal. Find another trustworthy vampyre; go online. You found Sangi, didn't you? :-)

Contributed by The Morbid Rose

[ Awakening Stories: p1 - p2 - p3 - p4 - p5 ]

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