Page last updated: November 11, 1014
Wanting to BE Vampires
People wanting to be vampires. Rather, they want to be what they think or want a vampire to be. When/if they BECOME a vampire, they don’t get to pick and choose stuff like in role-playing games, etc. You want to be a vampire. You get to be a vampire. Just that, and nothing more, and nothing less. And once you’re a vampire, it’s not like you can take it back to the store and exchange it or get a refund. You find out, gee, I really do have a problem finding blood without attacking people. There’s no one around willing to just donate to you… What do you do? Well, if you’re not a vampire, you can end your little fantasy when it become incon-freaking-venient. It doesn’t go away. Then it’s not fantasy anymore, it’s reality. Cold, hard, merciless reality, and you’re in jail because you grabbed someone off the street and cut them because you weren’t thinking clearly at the time. Too bad, tell it to the judge. Like he gives a shit about some damned crazy person he’s about to order to be committed for evaluation of their sanity.
Then you’re locked up in a ward somewhere and you don’t even have access to sharp objects. Let alone your freedom, and the ability to at least roam around, haunting goth clubs in the vein hope of finding someone who WILL give or trade or sell it. That’s when you really suffer. Because your body doesn’t give a rat’s ass where you are, it just knows what it needs.
Once you’re turned, it’s permanent, so if you just think it’s cool, or that you’d love to be a vampire because then you’d have it made. … Yeah, you’d have it made. — Your bed, that is, and you’d have to lie in it, too.
So don’t go saying you want to be a vampire — unless you know what it entails.
I said, I want to be a travel agent. I was thinking of all the glamor and the exotic destinations I’d get to visit, etc. Well, I went and did it. I went through a school and got to be a certified travel agent. I realized it, too, wasn’t what I thought it was — at all. Fortunately, I could choose: be one or not be one. I’d changed my mind about it, after having experienced some of its reality: sitting at a desk, dealing with difficult people, frantically calling places on the phone to schedule things, searching my butt off for the lowest airfare combo, and above all, maintaining my composure and civility! I didn’t like it, so I just stopped doing it and went and did something else that I DID like. Vampirism ain’t like that.
Some people are well-suited for the travel industry, some are not. I thought I would be. Afterwards, I found out that I was wrong. Same with being a vampire. I can stop being a travel agent, whenever and if-ever I choose; but I’m stuck with being a vampire.
Listen to what I said, people!
I didn’t escape jack-shit. I still have to find work. I still have to pay bills. I still have to scoop cat crap, and pick up hairballs they’ve yacked up. I still have people give me dirty looks, I still have to obey the law. I don’t have mystical powers over people; they don’t do my bidding any more than I do theirs. I did not develop preternatural grace and beauty.
Now, I have to deal with such things as sunshine glinting off chrome (which is everywhere) and blinding me. I have to deal with the fact that I have this damned thirst that is always plaguing me. I have to deal with things like pepperoncini peppers (salad peppers) being too hot to handle (but they do great wonders in helping out with the Thirst…). I have to deal with people that I trust enough to tell them this stuff, not believing me and thinking I’m another nutcase. I have to deal with…myriad bullshit things. I have to deal with wannabes asking me to turn them, when if it came right down to it, they’d freak out. I have to deal with posers who try to convince me that they’re the real thing. I have to deal with people who tell me I’m not a vampire, but they are, and they’ll be so gracious as to waste their oh-so-valuable time on tossing me tiny tidbits of their ancient, incredibly vast and secret knowledge. (Yeah, right…most of the time, their incredibly abyssmal lack of knowledge — especially their misuse of “thee” and “thou” and “thy” — serves to amuse me, so I have been known to end up spending some time playing their eager and willing disciple, just to see what drech they’ll try to fill my head up with. Unfortunately, this is now a luxury that I cannot afford. Oh, well…too bad, so sad. Gee, I almost sound like an arsehole here!)
Right now, the only benefit that I can even think of,–and this is inconsequential,–is it costs less to get a buzz, and I save on my light bill. Oh, and I also tend to get sick less.
Isn’t it great, folks? I’ll shut up, now. Bye.
How to Approach a Vampire
Those who are vampires tend to be a little put-off when other people contact them out of the blue saying, “Make me a vampire!” or, “Will you please embrace me?” (I will embrace anyone who asks me — as long as they have had a bath within the last day or so!) It’s kind of like if someone went up to a sexy-looking person on the street and said, “Hey, baby! Wanna f*ck?”
I believe that this is why the great majority of you guys are met with a rather off-ish attitude from the vampires. We just get kinda sick of it all the time; it’s not you, personally. I really don’t think that we mean to be snobbish or elitist, but it’s easy to fall into that attitude. (This is something that I hope to overcome…)
The best chance you may have at an opportunity to be turned, would be to get to know the one who is a vampire. Talk to them, “court” them, if you will. Make a friend. Care something more about the individual than the mere fact that s/he is a vampire…
It seems that a lot of people who contact me wanting to be turned have a similar attitude to those people who want to marry someone merely because that person is rich: they see the money, but they don’t care about the person!
Just think on this, okay? It might increase your chances. Peace?
Suspension of Belief
Regardless of what you personally believe vampires to be like, here is some advice for you: I recommend that you approach anyone who claims to have an extra-ordinary lifespan, abilities, or powers with a suspension of belief, particularly if you are wanting to become like that. This is not to say to assume s/he is lying; accept the possibility of what s/he says with an open mind, but do not just automatically believe him/her, even if s/he is convincing. This way, you are not setting yourself up for an emotional letdown by putting the “vampire” upon a pedestal only to later discover that s/he is a fraud. It happens, folks. Even to vampires.
I know this is hard to do, particularly if you are desperately searching for those who are real vampires, or those who have extra-ordinary capabilities. But there are people out there who will go to great lengths in order to deceive others into thinking that they are, in fact, vampires who have these powers / abilities; these people are vampires of another sort: they feed off your belief in them, your emotions, your hopes, your desires and wishes! And they nurture these so they will yield more feasting. They use you. And, you are their victim. And there’s nothing romantic about that.
I’m not telling you to not believe someone who says s/he is a vampire or makes unusual claims; I am imploring you to not place all your hopes and dreams on him/her.
I’m pussy-footing around with the grammar because I don’t know how to say this in a manner that is acceptable, so I’m just going to say it: People have become depressed, unbalanced, — even suicidal, — over such letdowns. I don’t want that to happen to you or anyone else. If this sort of thing has happened, or should happen, to you or anyone that you may know, please seek help or guidance from a qualified individual, be s/he a counselor, pastor, psychologist, etc.! I and others who hang around my page can lend sympathetic ears, positive support, and perhaps give you some direction as to what types of resources may be available in your area.
I, myself, am not a professional. As much as I would like to be, I am not the next “miracle (wo)man” for you to turn to. (Ow! My ego doesn’t like that…) I will not flirt with the possibility of making things worse by not providing the assistance one needs!
Vampires and Religion, Spells, & Rituals
There are various organizations in existence which promote vampirism as a religion or a path, or which offer spells and rituals purporting to make you a vampire. My recommendation is to avoid these. Spells and rituals will not make you into a vampire. Joining a religious cult is a bad idea, even if those running it are actually vampires. What organizations that I have come across have been focused on the dark side, or even downright evil!
I do not know if they are sincere in promoting vampirism as a religion, or if they just want to make money. I feel that if the latter is so, then that makes them all the more dangerous, because it means they aren’t sincere in guiding their followers.
I do not wish to offend any who are involved with vampirism-as-a-religion; if it works for you, that’s fine by me (although I do feel that there are more positive religions which one can choose to follow). I am only posting my personal point of view, as per the dictates of my own conscience. If you are on top of things, fine. But if you are finding that things are difficult to handle, then — GET UNINVOLVED! There are resources available to help you do this.
An Open Letter to Any Who Would Wish to Become a Vampire, by Sanguinarius.