Problems Vampires Have, Page 6

This section has problems pertaining to dealing with “everyday” (everynight?) things for vampires. It can get in a light vein, but I would prefer it to be mainly enlightening (jeez, can I quit with these day puns, already???) as to actual problems that vampires have to deal with on a day-to-day (aaarrrggghhh!!!) basis.  If you have a unique or unusual vampire-related problem or situation you’d like me to consider adding to the Problems Vampires Have section, send it in here.

–Sanguinarius

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Here’s a list of some problems for the ‘problems’ page that I’ve been working on for a couple of months.

  1. Summertime. I like the cold, and the coldest it gets here between May and September is about seventy. Plus, the sun is always shining in my window, so I pull the shade down and the next thing I know my mother is complaining that it’s like a dark, cold cave in my room.
  2. Being nocturnal. I start school at seven-thirty in the morning, which means I have to get up at six-thirty to get ready and get to school. I’m exhausted at school, and then by five or six in the evening I’m wide awake again and can’t get to sleep until two or three in the morning most nights.
  3. Having a very strict, conservative Christian for a mother. She wouldn’t speak to me for days after I told her my religion (which is Wicca, by the way), and is constantly harping on me for everything from the way I dress to the people I hang out with, etc., etc.
  4. Class. For one thing, I am always tired and falling asleep. For another, most of my classrooms have windows. All last semester, I had to sit through Spanish class right by the large window with the sun shining in on my back every day. And then everyone starts to wonder — of course — why I am always curled up in a ball in my chair with my jacket on and the hood over my head, hands stuffed inside the fabric. Not to mention the energy drain that happens with that sort of thing.
  5. White Wolf role players/LARP people who think they know what they’re talking about.
  6. Sunlight in general. My skin is pretty much as white as a sheet at this point, and has been for about two years now. Only, since my awakening, I no longer tan. I’m in the sun for over an hour and immediately burn and get blisters all over my shoulders and back.
  7. Not being able to tell any of my friends what I really am, besides the one friend I have that is a vampire as well. Then, having to try and explain something to them because they know you’ve been keeping secrets and think you don’t trust them.
  8. Being too restless to sit at home all night, and having to find ways to sneak out without getting caught/making too much noise.
  9. Headlights. We were driving around in the mountains one night, me and two of my friends, who know nothing about me. I was looking out the window, enjoying the view because it was such a nice evening, and POW! Some truck pulls out right by us with his brights on, shining them right in my eyes. All I could do was mutter and growl in pain for about fifteen minutes.
  10. Large crowds, like when you’re out somewhere say… Roller skating. I was doing fine until I vamped out, so I tried to get out of there and calm down, and got stuck in a huge group of seventh graders. Right then, the beast comes out and I trip, falling flat on my face. I get off the floor, finally, and notice that people are literally starting to crowd around me for some unknown reason, like drawing bugs to one of those zapper things. My friends coming over and asking me what’s wrong, and then having to bail on them because I’m really close to losing it. I had to lock myself in the bathroom for half an hour to calm down. Then, when I appeared again, I had to try to play it off like nothing had happened. Now, my best friends think that I have Social Anxiety disorder or something.
  11. Getting what I call a ‘thirst migraine’ at least once a week.
  12. Never being hungry for actual food when I have a migraine, so then I take painkillers on an empty stomach and end up with a stomachache and a headache.
  13. One particular evening comes to mind. Over the past summer, it seemed that my only way of getting into college was to join the military. So, they have to take you to the government building for a physical. Only, they make you spend the night at this hotel the night before — I don’t know why. So, I end up in a room with someone I get along with just fine, until it’s time to go to sleep. I’m up until two in the morning, finally falling asleep to have these vivid, blood-soaked dreams that leave me tossing and turning for the one-and-a-half hours we have to sleep. (You have to be up by four AM, so…) I wake up to my ‘roommate’ telling me that not only do I grind my teeth in my sleep (which I do when I’m having those kind of dreams), but I’ve managed to swing my arm out and break the plastic cover on the clock radio and put a dent in the wall.
  14. Wanting to make up a fake doctor’s note to show to my teachers so that I could wear my sunglasses in class and not be blinded by the fluorescent lights that seem to be everywhere in that stupid building.
  15. Trying to deal with parents when they ask why you stay up until 5 AM and sleep until one.
  16. Here’s a difficult one: trying to explain to your AP History teacher why you have to leave the room when the girl that sits next to you has cut her finger open and begins to bleed all over her desk, your desk, etc.
  17. Everyone in my Spanish class calling me ‘vampire’. We were having a pizza party and the shades were all down. That is, until the teacher came back and opened them. It was so bright that I shot out of my chair and into the corner. Then, of course, the teacher had to say something along the lines of: ‘oh, the vampire has to get out of the sun’. I’ve been trying to live that down ever since.

Contributed by Mila_Uri


Ok, this is quite a bad one — it almost got me beaten up. I was in Science class, and really under the thirst, and we were dissecting fresh kidneys. My hands were all smeared in blood, and I couldn’t resist a lick. Then one of the boys shouted, “GROSS! She just licked the blood!!” And I had to lie like hell. Then I had the teacher looking at me strangely. The next week, we were dissecting hearts. She asked me to leave the room because I scared the other pupils.

Also, I have a bit of a problem with being so cold. The doctors have to take 1/2 an hour to check my pulse and heart beat because my heart beat is very weak and my temperature is so low. Oh, don’t forget the little factor of my veins being so blue they stand out. And all the girls at my school hate me because I don’t get freaked out by the videos that they show us on road safety.

From $8áN


For a few years, I’ve been trying to figure out who I am, and I’ve come up with answers. Being 15, almost 16, I know life as a teenager is difficult. Sometimes, you’re too afraid to admit whether you are or are not a vampire. In my experience, some symptoms have not manifested, but this may be for several reasons. I’m a psi-vamp, and with my history, no wonder! Anyways, to the point — It’s REALLY difficult to face your fears. I’ve had experiences with someone online who is probably NOT a vampire. I KNOW how hard it is to be a psi-vamp. I mainly feed through touch, but how do you say to someone, “I need to touch you to drain some of your energy. Is that ok?”? And then facing yourself saying, “I’m not really a vamp, I only have a few symptoms…”

Ok, here’s some advice: FIND someone to be a center of hope for you. I was born low birth weight, small size, and prematurely, by c-section. I’ve spent most of my time with my mom, who is a blood vamp, and she has become my strength, my foundation. This can REALLY help, just have faith!!!! 🙂

Contributed by Brent


I live in Arizona and of course I’m lucky enough to live in a house where the blinds are S-H-I-T so it’s constantly pouring sunlight into my eyes. And when there are people around I get so pissed and crawl into a quiet, “dark” corner where nobody can see/piss me off. Also, the goddamn loser who built my school HAD to make it mostly outside, with barely any shade so every time I’m changing classes I’m virtually walking blindly with my eyes half open and my friends are on my back for putting on such a “show” whenever I’m out in the light, I just want to yell, “WELL THEN, YOU TRY BEING A F*CKING VAMPIRE!”

Also, at lunch the damn teachers make us sit outside so I have to sit on our picnic tables facing the wall so the sun doesn’t blind me! Oh, and let’s not forget my family constantly whining and asking me why I don’t ever go to the pool with them or why I’m always so moody! GRRRRRRR! Sometimes I wish I had fangs. >:(

Other Stuff, Buggin’ the Crap Outta Me:

  1. Having to constantly close this page on my computer so my mom doesn’t see it, wonder why the hell I’m on a vampire page and feel the need to “take action” (a.k.a. send me to a therapist)
  2. My friends bitching about why I always put on such a “show” when I’m in sunlight
  3. My goddamn Spanish teacher bugging me about why I’m always “half asleep” in her f***ing 9am class
  4. Friends griping about crap like who’s going out with who, and I’m worrying about not “vamping-out” in front of anyone
  5. People thinking vampires are evil minions of the devil who fear garlic, turn into bats, have shrinkable fangs, and die in sunlight. Oh and don’t get me started on movies…
  6. Eating lunch outside!!
  7. Bright, fluorescent lights in school
  8. People asking me why I squint inside the school building (see #7)
  9. DAYTIME SCHEDULES! (I think mankind needs to follow the example of our fine, feline friends and go NOCTURNAL!!)
  10. People looking at me funny when I scoot over to another row on a public bus because the tinting on the windows is peeled off and it’s bright inside even when it’s overcast
  11. Parents giving me Looks when I ask for raw steak for dinner because I STILL haven’t found a donor…
  12. Parents demanding I go swimming in 105º weather with them (can you say SIZZLE?!?!)
  13. Loud people/kids EVERYWHERE!

Email me at Vamp_Beauty99 (at) yahoo.com if ya wanna talk =)

Contributed by Candi / Darkness_21


One time when I was in high school, my art class was working on a carving project. This girl accidentally cut herself, so I ask, “How bad is it?” She runs over to me with a smile and sticks her bleeding finger in my face to show me. I couldn’t believe she did that; it was like waving a piece of meat in front of a starved wolf! The agony!

Another time I was having cravings really bad, I had the shakes and all, so I lay down on my bed. My mother came into my room and asked, “What’s wrong?” She felt my forehead and says, “You feel hot.” I didn’t know what to tell her; I simply didn’t say anything.

Living in AZ with 110 degree weather in long summers doesn’t help my not being able to tolerate the heat. And the sun is so bright I get headaches without sunglasses.

Scaring people accidentally because I’m quiet when I approach them is a bad habit of mine.

Working a shift at sunset while having to work close to large windows is dandy.

Having people refer to you as being Vampire because you dress a little Goth, but they don’t know how right they are.

Having people look at you weird when you say, “I don’t use band aids when I get a cut, I just suck on it till it stops bleeding.”

Contributed by Elligons LaCroix


Ok, here’s another problem. STUPID PEOPLE THAT GET IT IN THEIR HEADS THAT THEY ARE “VAMPIRE SLAYERS”.

Recently my friend had cancer. During his chemo-therapy he became an involuntary psi-vamp. He was a huge black hole sucking in every bit of energy that was in the room. One day, he came to me and asked me to do Reiki on him to help him battle the cancer. I did so, and after the session, I explained to him how energy works, and how he was taking other people’s energy. I then explained psi-vamps to him as best I can. He was a little confused, and not sure how to react to being told that, although he is a vampire, it’s nothing like he’s seen on TV before, and it will probably go away after he is all done with the therapies and the cancer is gone.

He went to another friend to ask if this meant he was evil. That friend spread the story of how my friend was claiming he was a vampire and that I too, am a vampire. Now, every loser that has ever seen half an episode of Buffy is now coming after me, telling me how it is their sacred duty to kill me. I have had four of them come after me; all of them escalated the confrontation into fist fights. Fortunately, this is one area that I am very good at.

Although I hate fighting, I am a black belt in 3 different schools, and studying many others by myself. I have learned from the best of the best: professional fighting champions, Paul Vunak (he designed the R.A.T. System which is taught to Navy SEALS), an ex-Delta Force operative and trainer, and others. I have also learned how to use psi-vamping as a self-defense tool. I first floor them with self-defense techniques, and then drain their energy until they are too weak to hurt me, then I leave them in that state until I can explain to them that I am not evil, I simply am different.

I hate my differences being so public. I hate fighting. I hate losers. I hate Buffy the Vampire Slayer. And I HATE “VAMPIRE SLAYERS”.

Contributed by R.I.P. Blacksmith


I am the black sheep of my family, with my pop and skater siblings who act far more acceptably. No one can understand my sleeping hours, or the fact that I passed out in class from being constantly assaulted by the lights and it’s “wrong” to wear sunglasses in class.

I am constantly asked if I’m anorexic because I don’t eat (which considering my weight is ridiculous), but I spend all day drinking stuff. I love breeding and raising rabbits, but so many shows take place in bright auditoriums it’s almost not worth it to go and see if they win. I love to swim; however, I nearly drowned in a friend’s pool due to less than an hour of sun exposure, which caused me to pass out. This has kept me to swimming only on very cloudy days. All in all, it ain’t a charmed life but it’s mine and I deal with it.

Contributed by Jess


The greatest problem I have is loneliness. I’m now 19 and I have always thought my suspicions about being a vampyre were just some thread of insanity in the back of my head.

I spent my high school time and the time afterward as a lone observer, watching life pass by. I never felt like I fit in anywhere and all I could do was watch life pass by. I had blood cravings which went unsatisfied until I found a girlfriend who thought it was a romantic way to be not alone while I was away at school. I have always been alone and lost. Everybody who claims to be vampire or goth reeks of poser up where I live. I have been very impatient for life to end.

About a week ago, I finally looked up “Vampires” online and found this site [www.sanguinarius.org] and confirmed something I had felt since I was 13. At the same time, my loneliness was finally alleviated. Now I am looking to talk to every Vampyre I can. I have a lot of time to catch up on. Bonus points if I can find one from southern Maine.

Thanks for letting me rant,
Lone_Observer

P.S. Here is a bitch of a problem for me. I am an EMT and am constantly exposed to blood in a scenario where drinking is not only socially unacceptable but illegal and WRONG. Try that one on for size.


I’ve discovered that computer/TV screens pose a problem for vampires; they’re way too bright and hurt your eyes/head. No matter how low you make the brightness, it’s still no good. Optometrists are problems, too, saying, “Okay, now this won’t hurt one bit…” and then shining a wonderfully bright light in your eye while the rest of the room is dark. Hey, I thought he said it wouldn’t hurt! So I spaz and rant about how much that really did hurt and get a very scared and surprised look from the stupid jerk. If he had any idea.

Band camp is a problem, too (I finally quit). You’re out in the sun for 6 hours and your oh-so-caring band director won’t let you stop to reapply your sunscreen for the umpteenth time. I can’t help it.

Then there’s always the wonderfulness of being a skater and watching a friend fall and scrape their knee or leg to all to hell. So I vamp out and get weird, and have to deal with, “What the hell is your problem? Are you some kind of vampire or something? It’s just blood…” If they only knew…

Contributed by Lanee


I am 17 years old and a recently awakened vampire. Wow, it was really hard for me to admit that because, for a long time now, I have denied it to myself.

I tried to ignore the insatiable lust for blood I kept feeling at odd hours of the night. After awhile I just couldn’t take it anymore. The incident that broke the camel’s back was one night while my mom was making a steak dinner, the uncooked steak was just sitting there on the counter, dripping precious life blood. Oh how sweet it was! All of a sudden I felt the uncontrollable urge to lap it all up like Campbell’s chicken soup. After a long internal struggle I finally decided to make my move. When my mom left the kitchen I ran over, and sopped the juicy blood up with a piece of bread. Then, thinking it was a little weird, I spread peanut butter on another piece of bread and made myself a peanut butter and blood sandwich. It was pretty good.

Before I would think, “You’re not a vampire! That’s crazy talk!” And of course I was scared as all hell at what my very religious parents would think! They are always saying that the thing they hate most in the world are vampires and when my older brother came out of the closet and said he was homosexual, my dad — after much yelling and “oh my Gods” — said resignedly, “Well, at least you’re not a vampire.” Seriously, how can I tell parents like that?!?

But now I feel at peace. It’s the kind of peace someone might find if they were lying in a coffin in a dark cemetery. Sometimes when I am lying in bed during the daytime I wish myself far away and I pretend my bed is really a coffin. That I am lying in an ancient tomb, wrapped in a blanket of twilight as I contemplate my infinite sorrow of the abyss that is my soul. It really calms me down and for a few brief moments I feel at peace. Plus it’s a hell of a lot better than doing my stupid AP Chem homework.

Well I’m jealous of you lucky ones, I still haven’t found myself a donor. Oh, it hasn’t been for lack of trying. I’ve asked several people and once I even asked a homeless guy. Actually, he said yes, but I figured his blood was infected with AIDS or something so I changed my mind. I asked this really hot girl in my class if she’d be my donor. I figured her blood was really clean, and plus, if I could get some action on the side…well all the better right? But OF COURSE, she said no.

–Contributed by John

[On to Page 7]

I’m the founder/creator/page slave of Sanguinarius.org. I’m in my early-to-mid 40s. I have 2 special kitties and a good man.

More info later.

See my website, Sangi’s Corner, for more about me.

Sanguinarius E. Sanguinarius – who has written posts on Sanguinarius.org for Real Vampires.


About Sanguinarius E. Sanguinarius

I’m the founder/creator/page slave of Sanguinarius.org. I’m in my early-to-mid 40s. I have 2 special kitties and a good man. More info later. See my website, Sangi’s Corner, for more about me.
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