In this section, I present stories of (mostly) younger vampires’ awakenings and experiences while going through their awakenings. If you are a teen or school-aged vampire who has awakened, is awakening, or an older vampire who awakened during your teens, and would like to share your experiences, please send me your story. I’m also interested in hearing older vampires’ experiences for awakenings that occurred later on in life.
–Sanguinarius[Back to Index]
It all starts with something that might be completely irrelevant to being a vampire. I was two years old and every night I would lie awake and watch as a red outline would rise out of my bed and start contorting and twisting, levitating in the air. Of course the outline was of me, and I could feel as I started to levitate and feel my body contorting in the air, all the while watching what I was feeling. I don’t quite feel that anymore, but it’s still close. I can make myself feel pain, feel excellent, feel sick. It’s crazy. As a child, I was always getting cut and scraped, but the sight of blood never made me cry or anything, not like the other children. I just went on with what I was doing.
At about fourteen, I began to feel very isolated. I had just moved to Cherryvale, and found myself with no friends at all. In the ninth grade, at the beginning of the year, I finally found a friend. Her name was Jeani and I would hang out with her and her sister Eliza. One day Jeani came up to me and asked if I’m at all interested in Wicca. I had always been into witches and vampires, but at the time, I had no idea what Wicca was. “Oh it’s a kind of witchcraft,” she replied. I told her and Eliza, “Of course.”
Well, life was going on and I drew the Wiccan pentagram into my hand with a pencil. I traced over it so much that two little blisters appeared at two of the start points. Instantly I thought of vampires. A couple of days later, I took a needle and inserted it into two points of my wrist. Anyone who asked what it was was told that I had been bitten by a vampire. Well, a couple weeks had passed and I started getting weirdly obsessed with vampires, as I had never been obsessed with anything before. I made a vow to Satan saying that if he would make me a vampire, he could have my soul. I wanted to be one so bad I was willing to do just about anything.
I began to cut myself just to drink the blood that was in there. I put it in the form of a cat scratch, which was lucky enough because the office at school called me in and asked to look at my arm. I could smell everything, see everything, and could hear everything. I always have been able to. I like to stare in the mirror and watch as my nose, my mouth, my eyes, or everything about me disappears. It all just becomes black or blends in with my skin.
A few months after that, I had informed the computer teacher that the television was on even though it appeared to be off. She told me that it was just all the computers in the room . But I had never heard it in there before. A couple minutes later I watched her walk over to the television and push the power button. It went off and she gave me a funny look. I laughed inside. A couple of minutes later I found sanguinarius.org. I didn’t really explore it until about two months later when Jeani and I were looking and I remembered this site. As we were reading we became weirdly amazed. Nothing amazed us. We slowly realized that we were going through our awakenings, as she was having the same obsession as I was. Eliza remained to stay with Wicca.
I began to take syringes and draw blood from myself. I drew from myself four times in twenty minutes one time. I have never bruised myself or anyone else which I had taken from. That’s really is amazing for I have never had experience in using a syringe before and the whole inside of my elbow had become bruised. People started to become suspicious because of the puncture wound so I began to move to my legs, my feet, and my breasts. I found I can almost always take from my breast on the first insertion of the syringe. Normally it takes about five to six tries in different spots.
I stopped for a while, but my vampirism has overcome me. I now have the word “ALWAYS” carved into my leg so that I will always remember what I am and where my loyalty lies: Jeani and Vampirism.
Contributed by Avis Farthing, lonelyfreakoct13 (at) yahoo.com
So, my story begins. Unlike some, oddly enough I never really did have that much of a knack for vamp movies or blood. Truth be told, my favourite horror movie monster was a werewolf. Along with that, I’m not much of a vampiric/gothic dresser. I’m jeans, minimally coloured t-shirts (though most are red and black, I do have a brighter few) sweatshirts and sneakers. Conservative I guess. Though I have always found the gothic form of dress to be quite awesome. But I’m going off track now, haha.
Anyway, I think my awakening might’ve began when I was around twelve or thirteen. A series of unfortunate events — heh — began happening in my life as I entered the teenage years and everything started changing. Someone very close to me died; I got involved in an abusive relationship; and a couple of other incidents happened during those two years. As you can guess, I developed a sort of depression as well, and as I sank deeper and deeper into it, I soon noticed some strange things happening. I developed a sort of heightened sixth sense, among others — just the other day two things happened that creeped me out a bit as it seemed I had psychic moments of some sort. This could be my Paganism, or my vampiricness. My eyes have been getting fuzzy lately, and daylight has been getting harder and harder for them to tolerate. But either way, this is relatively new stuff in my life. I wish I could explain how it happened, I’d be relieved if I knew how. As for other oddities, lactose intolerance and photosensitivity also reared their ugly heads. On a summer visit to my aunt, I discovered that both these things are common in our family. Vampiric genes? I’ve yet to figure it out. Nevertheless, it only confused me more, as I thought that my mother’s side would contain them…
As for my everyday life, it’s nearly normal. The blood cravings aren’t too bad; I need blood about every three days, and I mostly get it from meat. The only other form of blood I drink is my own, whenever in reach; I have a bad habit of biting my cheeks. My recent ex laughed at me, my parents think I’m asylum material and/or going through a “phase”, and my best friend (also vamp) is a million miles away. What I really hate is that there is no one in my city I can confess and talk to about being a vamp. It seems that closed-minded people surround me, and I’m sure a lot of you can agree.
And what do I think of all of this? Sometimes I analyse the facts, the clues, and I try conclude once and for all what the hell I really am. Sometimes I wonder if I’ve really lost my wits, and I wonder if what’s happening to me is something that anyone would consider “normal”. Other times, I believe what I am and embrace it. But more often than not, I still consider these conditions, whatever they’re supposed to be, a curse. I never wanted to be this. Either way, it is a part of my life, and because of that, I work my way through it, one day at a time.
Contributed by K
My awakening hit with a blast; all of a sudden, out of nowhere, and all-powerful in my life. Sure, I had always loved vampires when I was younger and fantasized about them, but the blood cravings pretty much all came in a few days, though it took a lot longer for me to figure out. First, I thought I was kidding myself and “just being foolish”; I was embarrassed at my stupidity so I didn’t mention it to anyone, though it soon got very hard to control.
My cravings only lasted for about half an hour at first, but were EXTREMELY difficult. My heart would beat so fast, but softly so I couldn’t feel it; only if I pressed my fingers hard into my neck would I find a pulse. I would get extremely anxious and hyper; and though i didn’t talk much when it was happening, when i did speak, it was ultra-fast, and it was hard to do. I couldn’t bring myself out of my head and into the present enough to have a conversation. I just couldn’t keep paying attention for more than a few words into whatever the other person was saying; and as i said, replying was always fun.
Though out-of-tune when it came to speaking, I was totally in-tune with every little noise and vibration in the room. I could hear and feel everything with so much complexity, and it still couldn’t distract me from what was going on in my head. which was total blood-cravings, and the beast; it was like having tunnel-vision: all i could see and focus on was that one thing and with all my mind on it — not that I even wanted to think of anything else, really; the idea was so enticing and overpowering — thinking of drinking blood, especially in a violent manner seemed amazing and wonderful; far, far better than anything I have ever felt or imagined, or ever physically could feel or imagine. And it made me laugh, literally… People would tell me that I “seemed a bit tense” or “fiddly” as I ripped the cloth of my binder apart while fidgeting, and wide-eyed and face pale or very flushed. Any loud noise and I’d hit the roof and blow off the ceiling.
Luckily, my vampiric “puberty” didn’t last, and has calmed down a whole lot now. Now when it comes, it often lasts at least half the day, but doesn’t come daily, and it’s much softer; it kind of lingers in the background of my mind and makes me laugh from time to time, or at least smile. I feel a bit of a rush when I think of it, and an interest on acting on it, but I can control it and though it’s softer, like a bit of harassment, I can deal with it. Nothing to try to run up and down the hallways for, trying to burn off the energy (which does not work — trust me, I’ve tried: been pointed at, looked at, and found no hallway long enough, no matter how many times you’ve gone around the school, or been yelled at). And funny enough, that phase only lasted a couple of months, with ups and downs in it, and periods of seeming normality; but that was 2 years ago, and I’ve been quite tamed by now. Anyone else have similar vampiric “puberties”? If so, post them here, and I’ll be glad to read them!
Contributed by Anonymous
Hi, my names Chrissy. I live in England. There is something I’d like to put to you. I have read a lot of your site; the strange thing is I can identify with it…
Maybe I should start ’round about the beginning. I was going through some really bad times in my life and hated God (even though I’m an atheist); I blamed him for my misfortune as I wondered why those those things were happening to me. As I got progressively more depressed I started to turn to wicca, first for support (white magic) then for gain (black magic). I had watched vampire films and loved them; I was getting more and more interested in them and in becoming one. As I longed for that more, I began doing spells; anything I could think up to get me what i wanted: I prayed for it, I put my request to other dark Wiccan gods to get what I wanted, and at one point I tried summoning the devil by myself — it scared the literal shit out of me.
I felt I had nowhere and no one to go to, but my vampire obsession carried on, even after some of the problems were resolved. I found out I could research what I wanted to know on the internet (where I got some of my spells). I looked in all sites I could find, mostly coming up with message boards about people looking to be turned, and pretenders with an agenda. I couldn’t find what I eventually thought I was looking for — a mate, my dream vampire boyfriend (even though i still want it).
I began to see changes in myself. The blood cravings were small but when I got a taste I just couldn’t get enough; my senses have become more refined: smell (I could smell and know which boy my sister had been with the night before, and I can smell what my mother is cooking from upstairs) and sight (I can see over long distances even at night), etc. Before I noticed these things, I began to have dreams of my dream vampire coming to me at night and drinking from me. There were times when I would hear strange breathing next to me; unable to see what was making the noise, I would lie rigidly, listening, until eventually I could get up and turn the light on. Also I would wake up to hear my name being spoken loudly in a man’s voice. The breathing still happens occasionally.
There have been times when I’ve come close to being discovered, like when only I can smell (or hear or see) something that turns out to be 200 feet away, or when I see blood on the tv and get totally engrossed by it. After I had bad experiences of wishing for it and freaky things started happening, I took it back, or at least I tried to. — It scared me into being normal again as if nothing had happened. But I have read on a site that sometimes people don’t even know they are what they are…is that true? Do you think I am?
Also, I don’t feel awake or even alive until the sun goes down, and a funny thing happened the other night. As I was walking past a woman about 20 she nodded/bowed to me in acknowledgement. — I don’t have a clue why, but it was as if she knew. (This doesn’t have to be put in but…) My eyes are a weird sort of colour; they’re dark brown and have a yellow sunflower pattern around the iris, and the rim around the pupil is blacky/blue. I also have slight psychic feelings about people when I meet them. I even predicted the man of the match at a Bristol City football match. — I dreamed it a week before it happened.
As a final comment, I’m still looking for someone to share my time with, a vampire or at least someone who’s into it and would like me as a friend. Any advice anyone can give me would be appreciated.
Contributed by Christina
S87Chrissy @ hotmail.com