In this section, I present stories of (mostly) younger vampires’ awakenings and experiences while going through their awakenings. If you are a teen or school-aged vampire who has awakened, is awakening, or an older vampire who awakened during your teens, and would like to share your experiences, please send me your story. I’m also interested in hearing older vampires’ experiences for awakenings that occurred later on in life.
–Sanguinarius[Back to Index]
I’m not really sure of what I am. Sometimes I feel certain that I’m a vampire, sometimes I think that I’m insane, and other times I’m just plain confused. I don’t know where to begin with my story. Perhaps I should start with the numerous symptoms that I have, but that would most likely prove to be pointless because symptoms are just…symptoms. I suppose that I should just let my mind wander and allow my fingers to do the thinking for me.
As far back as I remember, I’ve always been quite awed with blood and vampirism. I loved watching vampire movies and always rooted for the vampires. Though I was fascinated, I knew that vampires were not real. For Halloween, I would always dress up as a vampire. There was something about those Hollywood vampires that fascinated me, and it wasn’t their superhuman powers. I considered immortality, superhuman strength, and blood as the only food source of energy to be utterly ridiculous. To me, those things were simply created to make vampires seem monstrous and terrifying. There was something else about those vampires in the movies that caught my attention, but I could never figure it out.
Blood on the other hand, caught my attention by accident. One day back when I was little and very naive (5-7 years old), I had somehow gotten a cut on my finger. For some absurd reason, I thought that I was going to bleed to death, so I drank the blood because I figured that drinking it would put it back into my system. To my surprise, I actually enjoyed the taste. Not long after that, I concluded that what I was doing was wrong, so I stopped. But whenever someone near me got a cut, I couldn’t help but stare.
Years passed without me thinking much about blood. I still watched vampire movies, though not as often as I did during my early childhood. It all began to change two summers ago when my interest in blood suddenly reappeared. It was slowly creeping up behind me for years, whispering to my subconscious. I suddenly became attracted to the sight of blood and went back to savoring my blood and even craving that of others. I never purposely cut myself, but I didn’t necessarily protect myself from cuts either. Whenever I did get some sort of cut, usually on a finger, I would feel more joy than pain. My cousin was the only one aware of this strange behavior of mine, and I think that I even scared her at times. The sight and taste of blood made me forget my surroundings and it simply felt right to drink it. As intense as it was, the strong desire to consume that red liquid left me once again, though not completely.
This past summer, I went to the bookstore and happened to catch sight of Bram Stoker’s Dracula. As soon as I saw the book, a familiar impulse urged me to buy it. My cousin and I read the book, but I didn’t really think much about it. It was entertaining, and of course, fictional. But there was something that my cousin told me that caught my attention. She said, “Yeli, wouldn’t it be cool if vampires exist? If you could have the choice to become a vampire, what would you choose?” At first I laughed at the question, but then I gave it some thought. My response was that I would choose not to be one because then my life would be a living hell. I wouldn’t want to spend my life hiding and trying to desperately find blood.
The thing about her questions that interested me the most was the thought of what if vampires truly exist. One day, I decided to look up information about vampires in the internet. It didn’t take me very long to find a real vampires page. The web page was mostly about psy-vamps, but it was rather interesting. The more I read, the more questions I had, and there was only one thing that I could do: read more. I eventually found Sanguinarius.org, along with other helpful websites. I found that the descriptions of the symptoms and the experiences of others closely described me. A new thought occurred to me: perhaps I am a vampire. That would explain a lot of things, including the blood thirst. But I decided to continue reading and learning.
The blood cravings reappeared, this time stronger than ever. There were days when I felt awful and suffered from fatigue. I even became more sensitive to the sun. I always had headaches from exposure to the sun, but those headaches became severe and would last for days. Then one day, I walked into the kitchen and saw an opened pack of uncooked pork steaks. We were obviously going to have steak for dinner. I instantly noticed the blood all over the steaks and couldn’t help myself. After two tries, I felt like vomiting. The taste was awful. And to make things worse, a few hours after consuming that, I found out that drinking pork blood is dangerous. Interestingly enough, my headache and fatigue went away the following day.
Approximately three weeks have past since then, and my pains and fatigue have vanished. I have gotten mild cravings for blood since then, but I simply ignore it and try to live normally. If I truly am a vamp, it’ll eventually catch up to me. Sometimes I desperately want to believe that I am a vampire so that these doubts can fade away. Then there are times when I pretend that I have nothing to do with vampirism. For now, I’m trying to stay away from anything that reminds me of vampires and blood, but now I find myself typing this. I wonder if I’ve made the correct choice or if I’m just prolonging what cannot be ignored…
Contributed by Yeli
Yelibeans @ aol.com
I’m 17 and I have been awakened about a year ago. Well, I might have when I was younger and not have known it. I “awakened” when I had accidentally found this site and read all the symptoms that I have as a Sang Vampire. I knew I was different, I just didn’t have the knowledge of what made me different.
I knew I always hated certain kinds of light and I easily burn if I’m not careful. I have excellent five senses which kinda intrigues my doctors. I crave for blood ALL the time, but I find if I drink milk or tons of water, I’m okay (mostly milk because it has that similar thick, velvety feel of blood). Strangely for me, and I’m not sure if this is true for some other people, but I think my canines actually do sharpen. Not like grow another three inches like the movies, but just get a more sharpened point when I think of drinking blood or I stare longingly at someone’s neck.
I also have an unusual strength and I can take pain rather well. I’m not sure if that can be a trait. For some people, it might. And when I mean unusual, I mean that I’m able to hurt others in a certain physical way (unintentionally), and if I do it to myself with the same strength and method, it doesn’t harm me at all.
Lastly, but most commonly, the sleeping issues. I’ve always loved the night, but when I was younger, I never stayed up past nine; but in my recent years, I have been staying up past one in the morning. My mother (being a nurse and all) thinks that I’m suffering from some mental disease and that I’m going crazy from drugs and alcohol. Well, lets say she’s the crazy one because, well, she is.
If any other newly/older awakened vamp, PSI or Blood drinker, likes to talk, here’s my IM SN: SkitzoHSAO
My E-mail: SkitzoHSAO @ aol.com
Contributed by SkitzoHSAO
When my awakening began, I wasn’t sure what was happening. I’ve always enjoyed being outside, but suddenly I could only go out at night because of the pain caused by burning and super-sensitive eyes. I couldn’t sleep at night, and would just sit there on my bed thinking and trying desperately to sleep. My night vision increased to the point where, after about fifteen minutes for all the sun spots to fade, I could read in the dark. I started getting dehydrated far quicker then I should with all the fluids I drank. Food began to get tasteless, and it did nothing for my hunger. Sometimes I would look at my friends and find myself staring at their veins, and if one of them started to bleed, my whole mouth got dry and I realized that I was wanting to drink that…
Then of course there was the problem of my being a vegetarian. I thought of getting steaks, or just giving up vegetarianism, but my mom needed a good explanation — which, of course, I couldn’t give her. I began hearing things that no one else did: electrical equipment and, to my surprise, other people’s breathing and heartbeats, even from a room away; I began to be able to smell things (a trait I never did have before), even better than my friends; and caffeine, along with other drugs, ceased to have any effect on me. I started getting horrible headaches which my doctor diagnosed as migraines, and I was soon after diagnosed with ADD. I got grumpy and irritable, wanting to hurt people whenever they did anything even slightly rude. I started snapping at my friends, and my mom made matters worse by sending me to bed early.
Finally, I talked to another teen who had recently been awakened, and she confirmed my guess of what was happening. I managed to find a donor, and now I’m fine… The whole experience was terrifying for me, simply since I didn’t know what was going on!!!
Contributed by ChildeDuse
ChildeDuse @ yahoo.com
I awakened at the end of August of 2003 at the age of 14. At first I noticed I had a strong urge or craving for something and I did not know what it was. Then the sensitivity to sunlight came and I felt like crap! I was in denial before and even after I found out that I was a sanguinarian. Before I realized I was a sang, I thought I was a psi after going on a website, which had some good facts on vampirism and some bullsh*t about us being able to hear the dead or something like that. Then I found this website (sanguinarius.org) and confirmed what I was feeling and I’ve been able to easily adjust to my vampirism ever since. 🙂
Contributed by DarkEvildead
mgrg60 @ dsl.pipex.com
just wanted to say that my awakening came during a very cold and frigid winter, so it was hard to tell if I was truly awakening, or just had depression and cold skin from the winter itself. But the other symptoms of my awakening told me the truth — that I, indeed, had been awakened.
Blackraven2008 @ cs.com