But I Don’t WANT to Be a Vampyre! (Reconsidering Vampyrism)

By Lady CG

“…it’s not scientifically proven…”
“It’s too rpgish!”
“It affects my life in a negative manner…”
“It’s too hard!”

I’ve been hearing it for many, many years. Almost EVERY vamp goes through it at some point. — They TRY to QUIT being a vampyre. I understand how it goes. I’ve even tried it myself, for a number of years. So, what do I tell Vampyres who come to me and say they are not going to be a vampyre anymore? I tell them the same thing I tell people who want to know if they NEED blood. I tell them to go ahead and try. Why do I tell them that?

In my experience, if you are a non-vamp and want to try blood, a rare steak will NOT do anyone any harm. (It’s what I always recommend new vamps to try FIRST.) Literally MILLIONS of people like their steaks rare and bleu [French for “bloody”] rare, — not all of them are vampyres, — and I don’t know of anyone who has become ill from eating a good rare steak from an inspected source. If the person is NOT a vampyre it will not do them any harm, nor will it do them any vampyric good; if the person IS a vampyre, they often know right away if it helps them.

The same applies to NOT drinking blood, or trying to STOP being a vampyre. If they are NOT a real vampyre, a person SHOULD be able to walk away from blood drinking and not look back. If the person really IS a vampyre, they will know within a few months if they actually NEED blood to be healthy. If they are FINE without blood, chances are they are not and never really were a Sanguine Vampyre.

If you are going through this phase, my advice to you is:

  • TRY abstinence.
  • Watch for any and all signs of becoming emotionally unstable.
  • Watch for any and all signs of becoming physically weak, constantly sick or apathetic.

IF you don’t have any trouble with leaving it all behind, and remain healthy, happy and stable, RUN as far away from the vamp communities as you can and stay away. You do not need the OVC if you are NOT a vampyre. Feel free to find a place you really DO belong!

If, on the other hand, you find yourself becoming apathetic, extremely ill, raging over a thirst you cannot cure with water — GO SEE A DOCTOR. If the Doctor cannot help you, go back to trying rare steaks and see if you feel better in a week.

There is a great deal more to Sanguinarian Vampyrism than just the need for Blood. Unfortunately it’s the need for blood that tends to make our lives unnecessarily difficult.

If you find you NEED blood, and it is creating difficulties in your life, I strongly suggest that you take up loving bleu rare steaks. Some people are grossed out by rare steak, but most people realize that it is not abnormal to like them. As a waitress for many years, rare steak was the 2nd most popular way to order a steak cooked. The first is medium-rare. Family and friends are very unlikely to abuse you much, or think it terribly odd if you develop a taste for getting your blood this way. No, it’s not the way we crave it, but it IS an easy way to deal with being a vampyre, when a need for blood causes difficulties for a vampyre with friends and or family.

No responsible person in the vamp communities will ever encourage a NON-VAMP to think or believe they are Sanguine if the person in question believes they are NOT a Vampyre. If Anyone TRIES to push the belief that you are a vampyre ON you, leave the community immediately. The things that are good and healthy and applicable to vampyres are often NOT good or applicable for a non-vamp and thus “playing vampyre” can do you more harm than good both physically AND mentally.

Balance comes when a person, ANY PERSON, accepts who and what they truly are. Very little good comes from trying to be someone or something you are NOT.

Sometimes it takes YEARS to come to terms with, and come to understand, what it means to truly BE vampyric. For those of us who are, it takes patience, and a lot of trial and error. Don’t worry! IF you ARE a vampyre, it will not go away. If you ARE NOT a vampyre it was never really there in the first place and you will never go through the stages and changes that real sanguine vampyres have to deal with.

Be patient with yourself. You have your whole life ahead of you to figure it all out. Hopefully, by then, the Community will have even better help and information than it does now, since research into vampyrism is ongoing. We are the first generation to really keep records of what we are and what kind of changes we go through. We are learning more about our state of being EVERYDAY. Hopefully a time will come when we will have answers for everyone. Till then, we’ll just continue to muddle through it together.

© Copyright 2005, by Lady CG. All rights reserved. Reprinted by Sanguinarius.org with permission from the author.

Lady CG owns the vampire, otherkin and occult teaching board Smoke and Mirrors, and volunteers as a teacher at “Lilith’s Realm” a vamp and magick-users teaching site. She contributed the articles “But I Don’t WANT to be Vampyre! (Reconsidering Vampyrism)”, “Solitary Vampyres; or, How to Live Incognito in Unfriendly Territory”, “Vampyres and Donors: A Symbiotic Relationship”, “Vampyric Aging (Or, ‘Where gooeth thou, beauteous stranger?’)”, “Raising a Crop o’ Vampyres (Or, HELP! My Teenager Wants to Eat the Dog!)” (in the Parents Section), and Of Trains & Tunnels & What’s at the End.

She is the author of Practical Vampyrism for Modern Vampyres (Lulu Press), and was one of the organizers of the first Vampiric Aging Conference. She also operated the Vampire Library in Second Life.

Sanguinarius E. Sanguinarius – who has written posts on Sanguinarius.org for Real Vampires.

About Sanguinarius E. Sanguinarius

I’m the founder/creator/page slave of Sanguinarius.org. I’m in my early-to-mid 40s. I have 2 special kitties and a good man. More info later. See my website, Sangi’s Corner, for more about me.
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