By Mike Future
A lot of vampires tell me, “No substitute can quench my thirst for blood.” While this may or may not be true, more than usual, these folks haven’t taken the time to find substitutes that suit them.
First off, the exact medical reason for our blood craving is not known. This fact may make it hard to diagnose proper blood substitutes, but conversing with fellow vamps has given us a solid base to start from. We will assume here that human blood provides us with additional energy that, for some reason, our bodies do not produce. For general reference, blood contains sugars, lipids, vitamins, minerals, hormones, enzymes, antibodies, and other proteins. Some of these things can be added to our diet with substitutes. Armed with this info, you can now think about foods you like, and which ones are high in energy AND healthy.
When symptoms hit, you begin feeling sick and tired. In fact, lethargy is one of the most common vampiric symptoms. When you feel early symptoms creeping up, take some time for yourself. Sit down, relax, and grab some fruit. Fruits high in natural sugar can give you added energy, so go for some grapes, raisins, bananas, cantaloupe, or watermelon. Fruit drinks and fruit smoothies can also help. Not into fruit? (You should be!) Here are some other healthy, high-energy foods: granola, rice, breads, honey, pasta, pancakes, and potatoes. You see, there’s something for everyone! Sports drinks such as Gatorade also replenish lost minerals, and boost energy. Gatorade helps me, and it may help you. Just give it a try.
Some vampires go one step further, and look for something more “bloody”. Eating a rare steak gives you the sensation of blood flow, and beef in moderate amounts is good for you. Rare roast beef, burgers, steaks, and loins may take the edge off; however, never eat rare pork or poultry! Just for the record, I don’t recommend eating completely raw beef, or drinking beef, poultry, or pig’s blood. The myriad diseases that await in raw meat and blood is not worth it. One thing I do recommend is raw fish; it works for me a great deal. Things such as raw salmon and tuna contain high energy, and blood. Eating raw fish in the form of sushi is pretty safe, but as always, there are risks. I leave it to your judgement.
Conversing with fellow sanguinarians has produced many great, and sometimes surprising, substitutes. Such things as molasses, orange juice, yogurt, wine, pickles, hot peppers, cheese, ice cream, chocolate, and tomato sauce have been mentioned. So get to a store, and pick up a few items you think might suit you. Your favorite foods right now might be substitutes in disguise! And even though these substitutes are temporary, and we HAVE to drink blood eventually, take the time to formulate your substitute list. You’ll be happy you did.