Fun Vampires Have, Page 4

Do vampires have fun? Yeah, despite all the problems we have, we still manage to have some fun. We have more fun than blondes. Here’s some of the fun we have, some of the silly situations we sometimes find ourselves in… I’ve nicknamed this section “Freaking the Mundanes” (with a nod to Leslie Fish, who wrote a filk song of the same name about the SCA).

Seeking contributions and input. All submissions become the property of Sanguinarius: The Vampire Support Page, and will be considered for inclusion herein. Submissions may be edited. If you have an experience that you would like to share, send it to me, but let me know that it’s for Fun Vampires Have, and that it is OK to include what you wrote.


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I stand about 5’7″, and have long black hair, and with my long reverend’s coat and red glasses, I look about as vampiric as possible. I was on my way into a local coffee shop a little ways from my house when I passed a group of older ladies walking to their cars. I overheard them saying things like “oh lord” and such, so I turned to them and bow, smiling at them and revealing my nice, white fangs. The one lady who had said something turned about six shades of white before turning back around and hurrying to her car. I turned and laughed with my typical maniacal laugh and headed on my way. I love it! 😉

Contributed by Sephiroth

The bar my friend and I go into all knows we’re vampires and it doesn’t bother them, but this one guy didn’t know…

I was staying with my best friend and as I had just got my new fangs (a set for me and a set for her), we decided to try them out one night. We dressed up and did the full white makeup, black lipstick, etc., and popped in the fangs. We were walking towards the pub and a few people we passed were granted a nice fangy smile which made them quicken their steps, which we thought hilarious.

We got to the pub and ordered drinks. We sat at the bar and this guy came up and started to chat me up, which I wasn’t interested in. I answered him without really looking at him and he eventually said, “So what do you do?”

I looked directly at him, at which he turned a little pale, and flashed him a lovely smile. “Oh, I’m a vampire…” He turned sheet-white and scooted to the other end of the bar. I looked at my friend and we about fell over laughing. Needless to say, he didn’t come near me again that night.

Contributed by Spirit Vampire

I’m hybrid psy-sang vamp. One day, I was sitting at home meditating when the doorbell rang. I answered the door and there were a couple of Christians standing there. They said, “We’re here to tell you about God.”

I was wearing my sunglasses and my fangs, so I smiled and said, “I beg your pardon?”

They both took a step back, and one of them fell. The other one said, “You’re the devil himself!”

I said, “Yeah… And you look delicious.” They turned whiter than white and ran away. I laughed so hard that my whole neighborhood could hear it!

Contributed by Acura Fangsul

A couple of weeks ago, I went to see a friend of mine who is interested in becoming a donor; she is only 16, so I am helping her discover exactly what it involves. Anyway, her friends know that she is interested in the scene, and were teasing her about having a vampire boyfriend. When the school prom happened, she asked me to go along as chaperone. None of her friends had met me, so when I turned up at the 5-star hotel in full regalia, full length leather jacket, shades, sabre fangs.. you get the idea.

Now, my friend had warned them that I looked, erm, unusual, but they weren’t prepared for what they got. Imagine a room full of 200 or so disbelieving teenagers finding out that a creature of the night was in their midst. Ahem. “Freaked out” doesn’t BEGIN to cover it! evil grin They were wary to start with, but after about an hour one lad came up to me and started saying I was nuts to think vampires existed. At which point I smiled for the first time since getting there. You have never heard such a big macho guy (and I mean 6 foot 6, and just as wide) scream like a girl — which of course set the rest of them off… whistles It was total chaos, needless to say. After that, they all treated my friend with, like, five times the respect they had done.

upbeatvermin @

Last year I decided to open up to a friend and tell him that I was a vampire. Sadly, he threw it in my face and called me an idiot (along with other things). I decided to get my own back on him, so for Christmas I gave him a card with a small bag (the kind you use for weather proof matches) filled with blood inside. When he opened it I was beside him in my leather coat. When he saw the blood he was confused, so I took the bag from him, ripped it open and drank the blood inside. Giving him a flash of my fangs, I licked the blood from my lips and stared longingly at his neck. I’ve never seen him run so fast! Just remember kids, people are always freaked when they see you drink other people’s blood; use it to your advantage!

Contributed by Billy Bob

A few years back, I was sitting at home with my girlfriend (non-vamp), who was just about to become a donor for me for the first time. I’d only just made a small wound on her arm when some Jehovah’s Witnesses knocked on the door, so we were both rather annoyed. Normally they go away, but these two kept peering through the windows and knocking on the door again.

I left my girlfriend sitting on the couch hiding her wound and I let them in. I must have been a shocking sight, all black clothing, sharp nails, pearly white fangs and very pale skin. I invited them in so they could “sell me their wares” as it were.

They followed me into the living room, and sat on our two-seater couch opposite the one my girlfriend was on. I asked them if they were thirsty and they declined my offer. So I decided to quench my own thirst and I began to lick at her arm, sucking the blood in front of them.

They both blanched and one of them went a very unhealthy-looking colour indeed. I stood to my feet and grinned at them, showing my blood stained teeth (that’s where I got my email addy from) and they told me that they wanted to leave.

Without hesitation, I opened the door and let them out, and they hurriedly scurried away. I called after them, asking if they wanted a drink now. My girlfriend and I found it really funny, and we spent most of the hour laughing at them. The expressions on their faces really amused us both. I also gained a regular donor from the experience as well, which has saved me a lot of hassle.

Contributed by the_vampyre_in_the_shadows_with_a_blood_stained_smile

My girlfriend and I went for a walk to the park one night. We were in the middle of feeding when two teenyboppers sat somewhere near talking very loudly. They were clearly oblivious to us, so we thought we’d play a li’l prank, hehehe. (Bear in mind that we still had blood on our faces.) We walked up to them making sure our heads were shadowed and staying very quiet. They looked up at us and asked what we wanted, We just looked at each other and then moved our faces into the light so they could see, and we hissed, showing our fangs. I doubt many people have seen two teenyboppers run so fast! 😀 It was quite hard to feed after that, considering we were laughing so much, so we gave up and went home.

Contributed by EmmaC

I wasn’t really planning on going to homecoming due to my depression for the third week in a row, but a friend of mine kept asking me to go with her. After countless tries of asking me, I finally said “yes” just so she would stop complaining. Well, the night of dance came around and I really didn’t know what to wear; it was close to Halloween so I just thought “What the hell? I’ll just go as myself, a vampire”.

My friend knows I am a vampire, but none of her friends knew at the time, and being one of the only black vampires in the area, it’s kind of hard not to miss me. I tend to stand out. I have a somewhat intimidating look about me so most people leave me alone, which is a good thing because I do have a nasty temper if my buttons are pushed; several people found out the hard way. But overall, I’m a pretty decent guy. I dressed myself out in a black shirt and black pants, and to top it all off, I have a very long black coat with red satin lining on the inside that I wore once I got to the school. I didn’t realize that I was the only minority in the vicinity till I started to just observe; I did realize that some people were staring at me — I could just feel it. I turned around and noticed a girl who looked slightly gothic staring at me. I gave her a nod which surprised her because I don’t think she noticed I was looking back at her; she nodded in return.

Once my friend arrived and the dance actually started, I noticed as the night went on more and more people were staring at me and my friend. I didn’t really pay any attention to it, though I enjoyed the attention for the fact I rarely get attention anyways. One group of people even was plotting to steal me away from my friend and try to hook me up with one of their friends. It was a beautiful night that I will always remember, because as a vampire I pretty much got everyone’s attention without even trying.

My friend and I still talk. She told me that, for about a good solid two or three months, the whole school was asking about me. Supposedly, since another dance is coming around, the talk about me has surfaced once again. Talk about being popular when you never were to begin with… Good things come to those who wait. evil grin

The Dark Prince VvvvV

My friends forced me to go to a school dance with them, even though it’s a pretty preppy event. I arrived in fairly gothic clothes and, of course, my sunglasses (the dance was at night but they kept the lights on). These sunglasses are fairly dramatic, having silver frames and blood-red lenses and drew quite a bit of attention. I had to use the bathroom, and when I walked in, there was the usual set of girls manicuring themselves and talking about how beautiful they are. Their jaws quite visibly dropped and one let out an amazed “Whoa”. When I got out of the stall there was a new, even preppier set of girls at the mirrors. I started washing my hands, and as I did, some of them lowered their cell phones and backed into a corner. Normally, the popular ones are so confident but these girls looked a bit intimidated. I couldn’t help but flash a lovely smile. I just said, “Scared?”, and waltzed out, leaving them behind. For the rest of the dance, my friends and I went up behind anyone slow-dancing and made as if to bite them. Their dates would get a shocked look, and they would turn around but by then I was gone. One of my friends then got a cut on her arm and everyone gathered around and asked her what happened. As a joke, she told them I had bit her and they all believed it! They took a step back and some started to bolt before we explained she had been kidding. lol That was the most fun I’ve had in a while.

Contributed by Pippin

I work as a theatrical technician and I do a lot of special effects work. That said, while I was preparing for a Halloween performance of Dracula, I had an interesting run in with the local clergy…

I was in charge of going to the chemistry lab on campus to make several blocks of dry ice for a nifty ground fog effect. As it was Halloween, and I was hosting the cast party after the show, I made a few extra blocks for later. These extra blocks were wrapped in some dry towels and smuggled out of the lab in my coat pockets. The rest was safely packed in a Styrofoam cooler in my bag.

The path from the chem lab to the theatre went past a small catholic church, where the church members were not-so-kindly protesting the celebration of Halloween. One even went so far as to douse those that he deemed to be sinners (anyone that didn’t attend mass) with holy water. Now, I dress in black, partially because I work in a theatre, but also because I just like it. I also have a less-than-harmless appearance. Apparently, upon seeing me pass by, the whole group decided that I was seriously in need of some “good” harassment. I just ignored it and kept on walking. Then, as I was almost out of range, I was suddenly saturated by holy water. I turned and glared at the guy who soaked me; he was grinning and quite pleased with himself. Then it happened. The water ran into my pockets and soaked the extra dry ice. It started producing a thick fog almost instantly. The guy’s face went pale. Everyone else fell silent.

I just glared at the group for a second and proceeded to run straight at the holy water-throwing-moron. The whole group ran for cover! Then as the fog kept pouring off of my body I let out a blood curdling scream, and yelled, “I’m melting! I’m melting!” Still running, I could see the looks of terror on the faces of the group. I just kept running, screaming in “pain” until I got out of sight.

Soaked and now with lumps of ice in my pockets, I went on to get everything ready for the evening’s performance. I didn’t really think much about what had happened, I was just really pissed off. Later, I heard an interesting story about how some religious rednecks had warded off this demon. That story circulated for several years…

Contributed by Arc

[On to Page 5]

I’m the founder/creator/page slave of I’m in my early-to-mid 40s. I have 2 special kitties and a good man.

More info later.

See my website, Sangi’s Corner, for more about me.

Sanguinarius E. Sanguinarius – who has written posts on for Real Vampires.

About Sanguinarius E. Sanguinarius

I’m the founder/creator/page slave of I’m in my early-to-mid 40s. I have 2 special kitties and a good man. More info later. See my website, Sangi’s Corner, for more about me.
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