Do vampires have fun? Yeah, despite all the problems we have, we still manage to have some fun. We have more fun than blondes. Here’s some of the fun we have, some of the silly situations we sometimes find ourselves in… I’ve nicknamed this section “Freaking the Mundanes” (with a nod to Leslie Fish, who wrote a filk song of the same name about the SCA).
Seeking contributions and input. All submissions become the property of Sanguinarius: The Vampire Support Page, and will be considered for inclusion herein. Submissions may be edited. If you have an experience that you would like to share, send it to me, but let me know that it’s for Fun Vampires Have, and that it is OK to include what you wrote.
–Sanguinarius[Back to Index]
I was getting ready for Halloween when a group of kids knocked on my door, so I popped in my fangs and opened the door. When they said “Trick or treat?”, I said, “Someone to eat?”. With a little flashing of fangs, I gave them some candy. As I was about to close the door, one of them asked me if my fangs were real and I said, “Yes. Say, can I have someone to eat, please?” As they backed away, I grinned evilly and moved towards them. In quiet and scared voices, they said “No”, so I said okay and closed the door. My brother and I looked at each other and started laughing our heads off (he doesn’t know I’m a vampire). That was the highlight of my day, and to tell you the truth, I don’t think anyone will want to knock on my door again.
Contributed by Evildead
I’ve been vamp nearly as long as I can remember (I awakened VERY early). Although I’m a sanguinarian, I do occasionally indulge in some psychic vampirism.
At secondary school (yup, I’m English!), I became aware that a friend was casting on me (turned out to be a love spell, bless her!). This annoyed me greatly — the cheek of it. Anyway, one day I decided to teach her a lesson. While she was walking past me, I drained her very quickly. Sadly, for her anyway, she was caught completely off-guard, and tripped. She looked up to see me standing a several feet away, grinning at her. That was the last time she bothered me.
Strangely, at junior school, someone managed to convince the class that I was vamp. I don’ know who, or how, as I never told anyone. I came into class one day to find the witless mundanes had all made crucifixes, and tried to fend me off! When will they learn?
While at college, I was completely open about my vampirism with everyone. Most of my friends (well, the mundanes anyway) thought it was just my way of masturbating my ego. That is until I fed off a (willing) friend in front of about 100 people! Not too subtle, huh? They got the point, and I got no further hassle.
Contributed by Rinon
I’m home-schooled, so I’m lucky enough to be able to sleep on my own schedule. I like to take “late night” walks a few hours after I wake up. My favorite place to go is the park only a few blocks from my house.
I took a walk to that park on the full moon last September. The moon was so beautiful, I just had to lie down in the grass and look at it. The ground was freezing and covered in dew, but I didn’t care.
A few minutes later, I heard two girls (probably about 20 years old each) come into the park, walking their dog, and talking. I looked over briefly, then went back to staring at the moon. I was lying on the ground, so they didn’t see me right away. I was wearing a corset, so I was breathing so shallowly, I really wasn’t moving. I heard one of them gasp. They’d just noticed me. They started talking to each other quietly, “Is she okay?”, “Should we ask?”, etc. They decided to find out, so one of them shouted, “Hey!” at me, assuming I couldn’t hear them before. I didn’t move. They came over to me and looked right at me.
I still didn’t move. They started getting scared that I may be dead. One of them reached down and tried to move me by my arm. I stiffened just a little, but still let them move me. With me being so pale and cold from the ground, the girl pulled away and screamed. I still didn’t move.
They walked away just a few feet and weren’t looking at me anymore. They were talking about whether they should call the police or just leave. At that point it’s really hard not to laugh my ass off. Then, while they weren’t looking, I stood up as quietly as I could and turned my back to them, and just started walking away, slowly and quietly. Then I heard them both start screaming, and then running away.
It was the best fun I’d had in a long time.
Contributed by Kitten
I was walking around one night because I can’t sleep at night anymore (damn nocturnal habits!). I decided to stop off at the Seven-Eleven because I had nothing else better to do and felt like picking up some gum, and those are always open. I put my shades on as I entered the store, and I was wearing my long black leather coat like always, and my fangs. I bought my gum, while the balding guy running the cash register watched me like a hawk the entire time. I walked out of the store to find a group of teenage guys hanging around on their pick-up truck.
Well, they noticed me immediately and I could hear them whispering about my appearance (I love my great sense of hearing). Then one of them, a tall guy with messy hair and dirt-stained clothes, came over to me as I was walking away and started asking me if I wanted to hang out with him. I told him, “No”, and walked away. He got in front of me and asked for my number or at least my name. I told him, “No”, and continued to walk away, brushing him aside. A communal “oooohhing” noise came from his friends still by the pick-up truck. He lashed out and grabbed my arm. I turned around, grabbed his arm and twisted it around and smiled, flashing my fangs. He turned the whitest shade I have ever seen and tried to escape my grip. I let him go, — he wasn’t very strong, — and he stumbled to the ground, trying to run away and pick himself up at the same time. I walked away into the shadows of the dark road next to the Seven-Eleven and I stopped to listen to the guy tell his friends about the vampire that almost killed him. I laughed so hard I thought I was going to fall over. So when it comes down to it, fangs are the best way to get rid of annoying guys and are so much more fun than pepper spray!
Contributed by Morticai
A new girl came into school and she noticed the perfect relationship my girlfriend and I have. She was jealous, so one day she decided to sit with us at lunch and try to break us up. We both knew that from the beginning. My girlfriend and I both being vampires with very nice natural fangs, sharp teeth, and gleaming eyes, let her finish her sentence then we both gave her a nice big smile.
Instead of leaving, she sat there not knowing what to do. So I started to nibble on my girlfriend’s shoulder. When my girlfriend started to bleed and the girl saw me licking it up, she fell off her chair and scrambled to the bathroom. I saw her the next week, but she would always look away quickly when she saw me. Of course, word got around the school of what happened. But with her being the new girl, all my girlfriend and I had to do was deny it happened, and nobody believed the new girl.
Contributed by energyfreak
I’m an 18-year-old male from Spokane, Washington. No, I’m not a goth, nor do I dress in black; and yes I have all the normal photosensitivity and nocturnal sleep schedule, etc., as we all do. I moved to Seattle with my mother for a while to visit for about two months, leaving all my friends behind, wondering when I’d be back. (I seem to be popular here, apparently.) I had a nice set of fangs made by Dnash and got a pair of red UV-glow contacts, tinted to help with the light problems (they look like they’re really my eyes). I managed to obtain a tube of temporary dental cement from Patterson Dental Supply so my fangs are “semi-permanent”.
I showed up at the house of my buddy, James, who’s a complete “gangster”, but still my best friend. He’s living with a chick he met. I walked in and sat down with my glasses on, trying not to use my lips whilst talking as much as normal. (I naturally have very long eye teeth although I’m psi-material.) Four good looking females were there, and two of them were sitting next to me and flirting like hell.
After about 10 minutes, one of them says, “Why do you still have you glasses on?” and proceeds to take them off even though I said not to. I open my eyes and all she says is, “Whoa, fck!” Startled and not meaning to, I couldn’t help but genuinely smile, accidentally exposing my canines. She jumped away from me, and her friend got James and proceeded to freak out as females do. That’s when James says, “Holy sht, couz! What the f*ck’s wrong with you?!”
All I said was, “I gotta go.” I put the shades back on and left. Unfortunately, they won’t answer the door anymore when I knock! I have gotten a hold of James, though, and apparently I seriously messed with those chicks’ minds. Gotta love the culture. Teach ’em a lesson ’bout being hoes and trying to get with everyone who’s good looking (lol). If anyone wants to get a hold of me, do so at pimp_ace2 (at) yahoo.com
Contributed by Colt, a.k.a. Nitrowolf
I’m a real vamp. I was adopted at birth and have never been able to trace my bloodline. I burn too easily on a nice day, have natural “real” fangs, and am too stealthy for my own good. I’m a good 300lb man and should make more noise when I move. So, what I do for fun is shadow people, walk up and just stay about 1 or 2 feet behind them and see how long it takes for them to notice me. I’m talking about being in bright lights, not even trying to scare anyone…just watching. I let it go on for many minutes until they catch me in their peripheral vision and scream bloody murder or I get bored and step out in front of them and they mess themselves.
I also use my “invisibility” when someone is standing there talking to me and I get a bit mischievous. When they look away, I will “poof” onto their other side so when they turn back to where I was, they freak. Then they freak again when they find me on the other side. That little maneuver has given me the reputation as “BATMAN”, because he is always disappearing when the Commish is briefing him.
In the dark, it’s easy to sneak and scare. The secret to doing it in the bright light or daylight is simply…empty your head, think nothing, just watch. It’s like your brain is silent-running or cloaked. I’ve had people look right at me and not even see me until I talk to them and they freaked. Try it, it’s cool.
Contributed by Sabrewing
I tend to hang about in graveyards at night. One of my friends happens to have night shift in one of the graveyards I go to; he watches over the graves and makes sure no one vandalizes the place. One time, I was sitting on a stoop to a crypt in that graveyard. Well, he came around to where I was, not seeing me of course, and I snuck up behind him and jumped on his back. I bit him with my pearly fangs and he started freaking out! (Who wouldn’t?) He finally got me off of him and he was about to run, but didn’t due to my laughing. I said, “I was this close to getting you to piss your pants, Jack.” Needless to say he was a tad upset, but he laughs about it now.
Contributed by Savannah Muse
sdmuse (at) charter.net
Oh my God! Little kids have the most priceless expressions!
Let me set it up for you:
I was hanging around at the mall dressed normally, wearing my black hooded top, black pants, and sunglasses; I was waiting for my mom to come back, so I decided to have some fun. I started walking around until I found the “TimeOut” area of the mall (where the “coin-op” machines are) and popped my fangs in. I walked around and a young boy bumped into me. I gave him a quick hiss and flashed my fangs, and he hastily ran to his mother. Then, I went back over to the railing I was originally leaning on and a child in the elevator stared at me. I gave him a quick smile (with a flash of the fangs, of course), and he looked straight down at the ground, his face really pale. Then, I frightened some of the younger high-school and middle school students lingering at the mall by walking up and asking them if they knew the time. It is extremely satisfying to see a “little preppy miss popular” so un-nerved!
So yeah, that was the mall… all those kids are going to have the story to tell of when they saw a vampire walking around the mall.
Contributed by Ely
I was at the mall with a friend. Suddenly nature decided it was time for me to take a tinkle. Now, you ladies might not know this, but guys have to use urinals. These urinals are usually set close together with just enough space to do your business. Well, while I was relieving myself, another person came into the bathroom and began using the urinal next to me. Now, guys, like anyone else, usually don’t like to make conversation in a situation like this. But, apparently this guy didn’t get that memo. So he starts talking to me and I’m getting annoyed, so I turn to him and give him a big fangy smile. This man turned whiter than anything I’ve ever seen and rushed to get as far from me as possible. Well, while rushing he dampened one whole pant leg and managed to get “it” stuck in the zipper. I washed my hands and left, laughing at the high pitched groans of pain.
Hope this story wasn’t too graphic for anyone. Funny though.
Contributed by Wren[On to Page 4]