So You’ve Found Out You’re a Vampire…

By Angelus Cretus Deus

(Originally posted to the Vampiric Community Message Board on 2004-01-05.)

“…Now what?”, you may be asking.

Well, first off, you’re going to need to get a few basic concepts down.

1.) Discretion. I cannot stress this point enough. I know many new vampires have an urge to tell people, or to flaunt it in some way to make it obvious to other people they’re different. This doesn’t make you stupid; it makes you a normal kid. But you have to understand that all of this is going to come back and bite you in the ass, and HARD, when you’re older and realize just how important it is to have anonymity.

Your best friend. — This seems to be a problem mainly with younger female vamps (but males as well). The urge to rush out and tell your bestest friend in the whole wide world that you’re a vampire. DO NOT DO IT!!! You need to give yourself time (at the very least three or four months) to fully realize what you are, and the problems that come with it.

Your boyfriend/girlfriend. — This is a seriously bad idea. Most, and probably all, of you are in high school. And while you may truly love this person now, bad things can and do happen, especially in relationships involving teenagers (trust me on this, **has one of the worst dating track records out there**). And if and when this person leaves you or you leave them, do you really think they’re going to keep that little secret to themselves? Of course not! Again, give yourself time to adjust before you tell anyone about this.

Your family. — Just an all around bad idea. Unless you’re from a family of vampires, telling your parents is something you may never be able to do. It sucks, but it’s a fact.

2.) Flamboyance. Even if you don’t tell people about it, there is an undeniable urge to flaunt it. Endlessly complaining about the sun to people; telling everyone you’re thirsty, but water does nothing. You need to stop that, NOW. It’s not going to help you any. And truthfully, if you ever do decide to tell someone, they’re much more likely to believe you if you were discreet about it.

3.) Common sense. Without a doubt, the MOST important weapon a vampire poses is common sense. It takes a while to obtain, but you’ll get it down. Don’t complain about your symptoms to people you don’t know, or even people you do know and don’t plan on telling. If someone asks you why you’re wearing sunglasses on a overcast day, tell them your hung over, or hell, just tell them that you’re photosensitive — but do it casually; don’t make it into a big deal. Most people will ask a few questions, then move on (sure they’ll make a vampire joke now and again, but they’re just f*cking around). If you smell blood (someone got cut; girls menstruating; whatever), just don’t say anything; as well as we can pick it out, most people find it a little odd when you act like a bloodhound. Something you have to learn how to do is downplay things. Instead of elaborating on something, make it seem unimportant and passe (the sunglasses, for instance).

OK, so you’ve got your concepts down, now what? Well, there are a few things every healthy vampire is going to need.

1.) First and foremost is blood. Now, you’re probably not in a position to be buying blood from a butcher, or wine from a convenience store, but if you are, see this thread <>. Otherwise, just ask your parents to start buying steaks and other red meat, and have them cook it rare. They may ask why a few times, but if you tell them that’s just what you like, it’ll just become a normal thing.

2.) Sunglasses. These are a lifesaver. Buy a few cheap pairs at Wal-Mart (make sure they have that little UV 100% sticker on them). Polarized is best, but NEVER use the ones with the mirror coating; only use black or gray tinted. The mirror-tinted ones trick your eyes into allowing solar radiation into them. The best kind to get are those made for driving: the amber vision. You can find these on a rack in most auto parts stores. They range from ten to fifteen dollars. Buy at least two pairs; one pair you keep at home (in case you lose your first pair), and the other you carry with you in your purse or book bag, along with a small bottle of sun block (I recommend Coppertone Sport) in case you get a flare-up of skin sensitivity.

That’s about it, really (kinda anticlimactic, ain’t it?). Being a vampire really doesn’t have to ruin your life. Sure, it makes it more difficult, but it really doesn’t change it on a day-to-day level. You just have to be prepared, and learn to use your brain occasionally (scary thought, i know).



I’m the founder/creator/page slave of I’m in my early-to-mid 40s. I have 2 special kitties and a good man.

More info later.

See my website, Sangi’s Corner, for more about me.

Sanguinarius E. Sanguinarius – who has written posts on for Real Vampires.

About Sanguinarius E. Sanguinarius

I’m the founder/creator/page slave of I’m in my early-to-mid 40s. I have 2 special kitties and a good man. More info later. See my website, Sangi’s Corner, for more about me.
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