By (or attributed to) LrdAzrael
The following is a composite profile of an Online Predator. This profile was compiled by a number of submissive women for the use of submissive women. It is written from the perspective of a submissive female whose nature requires her to respond to a dominant male.[Sangi’s Addendum: Although this text was written mainly for submissives in the BDSM (Bondage/Discipline/Sadism/Masochism) community, it applies equally well to other communities and other relationships, both online and offline. Because of the “alternative” nature of the vampiric community, as well as there being on occasion some overlap between the two distinct communities, it does tend to attract its share of predators, psychos and other unbalanced and potentially dangerous or abusive people. And although the text refers to the dominant and/or predatorial person as a “he” and the submissive and/or targeted person as a “she”, these roles are not restricted to the specified sexes; that is to say, a predator may be a female, or the target/victim a male.
I don’t know who originally compiled this list or where it was originally posted or published (it was posted to an e-list via e-mail, and I have so far determined that it was compiled by or is attributed to “LrdAzrael”; beyond that, I don’t know). The advice given herein is invaluable for online safety.
The Online Predator
The Online Predator is one who uses the mechanisms of cyber space to hunt human beings with the intent to exploit, rob, plunder and pillage their body, mind, heart and soul.
2.) Characteristics of a Predator:
- Liar: (Self explanatory.)
- Deceiver: His self situation is presented as other than what it is.
- Betrayer: He is likely to break trust.
- Insecure: He is worried that others will be faithless.
- Inconsistent: He will say one thing while doing another.
- Lacking Honor: Usually while protesting that he has honor.
- Lack of Respect: He will tend to denigrate others.
- Transient: He is unlikely to have many long term friends.
- Manipulator: He calculates and contrives for his own benefit to the detriment of his partner.
- Secretive: He will tend to cloak himself and his activities.
- Charming: If he could not steal your breath away, he would not be a successful hunter.
- Selective: He will pick victims carefully, looking for weaknesses and filling those voids completely.
- Chameleon: He will appear to fit any need perfectly and adapt to fill any desire.
- Lacking in Self Control: Although at times, he may have extraordinary self control and discipline.
A predator probably exhibits these characteristics in all aspects of his life. It may be that the only place the predator seems to have honor and value “Truth” is in the “Relationship” he is developing with his victim. When developing a new relationship, a submissive should make a conscious effort to observe her partner’s interaction with others, not just how he interacts with her. The predator may well reveal his true self through his interactions. But, the submissive may only see this revelation if she is committed to taking every precaution for her own safety.
3.) Predator Warning Signals:
While any of these phrases or actions may be acceptable in a given context, pay close attention when seeing or hearing them.
- Do not tell _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ .
- ( _ _ _ _ _ ) is crazy! (or psycho, sick, a liar, or out to get me)
- It would be best if you no longer spoke to _ _ _ _ _ _ _.
- I do not need to defend myself against lies.
- They are just jealous (of me, of us, of what we have, that you have me).
- May seldom be in the D/s chat rooms. Operates from other areas or private rooms.
- Has personal information which is incomplete or not verifiable.
- Becomes defensive or angry when questioned.
- Questions the sincerity of the submissive when questioned.
- He will usually discourage or forbid the practice of reference checks.
- He will usually discourage or forbid the use of Safe Calls.
4.) The Submissive’s Personal Warning Signals:
These are items that a submissive should pay attention to if she is saying them to herself or hearing them from others.
- I feel he is just too good to be true.
- You are hearing consistent warnings from more that one person.
- Your instincts are whispering “something is not right about this person”.
The final best defense any submissive has against an Online Predator is her own common sense and judgment. The submissive should always remember that desires, needs, and the heat of the moment can combine to drown that judgment. Always take a moment to step back, take a deep breath and look at a potential partner with common sense and not with passion.