Problems Vampires Have, Page 7

This section has problems pertaining to dealing with “everyday” (everynight?) things for vampires. It can get in a light vein, but I would prefer it to be mainly enlightening (jeez, can I quit with these day puns, already???) as to actual problems that vampires have to deal with on a day-to-day (aaarrrggghhh!!!) basis.  If you have a unique or unusual vampire-related problem or situation you’d like me to consider adding to the Problems Vampires Have section, send it in here.

–Sanguinarius

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As a sanguinarian I find that the list of normal annoyances just seems to go on and on and on… lol

  1. That damned thirst! That’s pretty much all that’s needed.
  2. Stereotypes, oh man those are annoying. I don’t let many people in on the truth, but when they ask me if I can turn into a bat and have no reflection it can get really irritating.
  3. Those damn lights! Thank goodness for sunglasses!
  4. The lack of night jobs — what a pain. Even then, I’m a student, so I need to sleep at some point in time. Damned nocturnal habits, though they’re not so bad right now, I find myself falling asleep all the time. Classes do that to you.
  5. Vamping out or twoofing in public places, what a nightmare.
  6. Definitely blood drives, I can’t be around those. I feel really crappy about not donating, but I know if I step foot in one I’ll have a hard time controlling myself. That’d be bad for my karma.
  7. Outdoor sports. I play field hockey and reapplying sunblock every ten minutes is a huge pain. That and my coach won’t let me wear tinted goggles. Oh well, I can’t always have it my way.
  8. Vampire slayers, what creepy people. I hate dealing with them. They never seem to understand that I don’t seduce people and kill them for blood.
  9. The never-ending search for a donor. I can never seem to find a permanent one. When a close friend (that’s the only people I’ll trust with the truth) becomes my donor, things will go great for a while, but inevitably we’ll get really close to the point where it’s almost a blood bond/serious dating relationship, and that’s just not healthy for either of us. I figure that this won’t happen every time because people are different, but it has happened to me twice at the moment.
  10. That damned thirst! It definitely deserved to make the list twice.
  11. Migraines. Ewww.
  12. Sometimes my sense of smell. I hate being able to tell when people are bleeding even if I’m quite a few feet away. And it’s always creepy when you know you’re friend has her period.
  13. And last but not least, the loneliness You can never really get close to people and tell them the complete truth until you’re sure you can trust them. And that takes a lot of time and doesn’t always work out. I definitely feel like the loneliness that comes with being a sanguin can be far worse than the actual thirst itself sometimes.

Contributed by Mortecai


This is a common problem. Trying your hardest to not feed because you know no one will believe that you are a vamp. So instead you bite your tongue or your lip and then you bite through and taste the blood. That kills you. Because then you want it more and more and you just can’t stop drinking it. That sucks.

Contributed by Chelsea


I have many problems with being a vamp. As a 20-year-old I’m in college and I must walk outside between classes and that hurts so much. My family thinks that I should seek some help. I know what’s wrong with me I just can’t do anything about it. My other problem was I was talking to a fellow female vamp and she claimed that I was a role player. Now I’m aware that names don’t mean anything, but when someone accuses me of being a role player that’s just hurtful.

Contributed by Cheryl


The thing that I hate is when every little Hot Topic kid who dyes their hair black, reads Interview with the Vampire and buys some plastic fangs thinks they are a vampire. When, yes, a lot of vampires wear black clothing and some wear plastic fangs. But the kids who go around telling everyone, “Hey, look at me. I’m going to tell you I’m a vampire and then bite my arm a few times to get attention”, — those are the type that annoy me. The people that I know, including myself, don’t go around advertising it to the world.

Contributed by Midnight Sun


I was at a little cafe with my friends and they were playing pool. I decided not to play but to watch the TV, instead. As I turned to look at the TV, flashing and neon lights flashed into my eyes, and I kind of jumped and covered my eyes (that was the worst headache I have had in a while). Then my friends came over and were like, “Are you ok?”, and I just replied, “It’s way too bright.” I started to feed on some peoples’ energy for a bit to see if that would help, but I guess it made the headache worse. I think I fed a little too much from the people playing pool next to my friends, and they started to get rude and (judging from how they looked) real tired. This caused problems between them and my friends, and we ended up leaving. It was the worst, especially since my friends themselves were now pissed.

Contributed by Alicole


Well, I’m 19 years old now [at the time of this writing] , and like much of the populace, I’ve had orthodontic work (i.e. braces). This wouldn’t be bad, y’know, straight teeth are always a good thing, but my orthodontist was a total asshole. When he took the braces off, he decided it would be a good idea to do something about my long, protruding canines… So he took out the grinder, without asking me anything, and proceeded to grind my fangs off! Of course, I would have nothing to do with this, so I struggled and tried to get out of the chair, actually biting him in the process and damaging the grinder (I have VERY strong teeth). He called two assistants over to hold me down, and I, being just a little girl, was unable to do much… So he got a NEW grinder and took my fangs off until they were the length of the rest of my teeth… It took him THREE different grinding wheels to do it; wore the other two out and almost the third. So I got out of the chair, gave him the most evil look possible, and stalked out. If I could afford it, I’d have sued him, but, alas, I can’t afford a lawyer. Oh well, I have a set of vamp fangs from the store, so I’m good to go again!

Contributed by Dezmondia


Yes, we all know of those commonplace problems that seem to tackle us daily into psychotic episodes, but I have found some that are not usually spoken about, but are still just as much of a bitch to deal with.

  1. Southern states. It’s all about where you live. I know, for Texas is Hell on earth.
  2. Snowglare. I may live “down south”, but I know what a wonderful problem this little factor results in.
  3. Nosebleeds, anyone? Ok, let’s get a tally for how many people that want to go into one big “tweaking episode” because they are constantly smelling blood all day! Now, now everyone, don’t all jump up at once…
  4. Curfew laws. Yes, others have mentioned this one, but I have gotten a ticket before for having cabin fever during my most awake and mobile hours. So let’s toss it in.
  5. People with attitudes. And the season marathon of Buffy memorized and on tape. And yes, someone has made the attempt to chase me around with a pointy stick.
  6. Idiotic teachers that I have to explain to a million times that I am sensitive to sunlight. One even had the nerve to call my mother and ask her if I was on drugs and in a hangover every time I came into her wonderful eight o’clock-in-the-morning class.
  7. Attention-seeking-“goth”-cutters. Such a waste of oxygen and especially spilled blood.
  8. Disaster scenes. I am truly sorry for the person who posted on here who is an EMT. I assure you, I could not take it as well as you have.
  9. Being able to smell blood, but not see it. Let’s tease the beast.
  10. Emotional set-offs. I don’t know about any of you, but a great deal of emotions often-times sends me over the edge.

Here ends my list.

Contributed by Shado


I am a psychic and blood vampire, so I have enough problems without people chewing my ass about being a vampire.

I told some people at the table I sit at during lunch that I was a vampire. I spent the whole lunchtime trying to explain vampires. I have past lives so I had to explain that, too. It really didn’t work. I don’t get why people can’t just believe me. They either don’t believe or they go nuts about it. This one kid has not stopped obsessing about me. I finally lifted him by his neck and slammed him against the bathroom wall. “You need to shut the hell up!” I yelled at him. I knew I could get suspended but it was worth it. Now everyone is making crosses with their fingers at me and yelling “Demon!” It just pisses me off. These Christians are so naive. At least now people give me some personal space — 20 feet when I’m pissed.

Contributed by DeathKnight Z


I am a psi vamp. My closest friends all know; one of them is a psi vamp himself. I have only recently awakened — let’s see — about two weeks ago. That’s how long I’ve had to get used to this. Not to mention that I…well…became…empathic very suddenly a month or two before and was still adjusting to that, but that’s irrelevant.

My biggest problem is that one of my two primary donors just doesn’t get it. She thinks that the amount of energy that I need is directly related to the amount of “energy” (as in stamina, how tired/awake/hyper) she has. It’s not!!

This is something that happens. She’s tired one day, and she won’t let me feed. I haven’t fed for a couple of days, and I’m thinking, “Oh crap, what do I do now?” I don’t see my other donor until after school. But I can’t lose her trust, so I don’t take any, even though I can feel VERY clearly that she has almost as much energy as she normally does. So I do this thing (I don’t know if all psi vamps can do this) where I just pull in whatever random energy is floating around. It’s not good enough, but it will sustain me. It’s like…well, think of it as being hungry and eating one of those energy bars. You’re still hungry, but at least you won’t collapse.

But then my other friend doesn’t show up. I’m really getting messed up by now; there’s no one I can trust, no one I can feed from. The next day, my first friend says she has no “energy” so I can’t feed from her. I want to scream, “You have plenty of energy! I can take enough to get me by for two more days and you’ll never feel the difference!!”, but I can’t lose her so I bite my tongue.

After a while I get really weak and dizzy, — way more than I was before, — so I lie down (I’m still at school). Then I want to ask her, beg her, please, please, please let me feed. Ten seconds, five seconds, anything, please. I can’t find the strength to sit up and get her attention. I try to call her, but I can’t make my voice loud enough. I’m getting scared now, I can’t function. Finally, she notices I’m lying absolutely still and reacting to nothing, and asks if I want to feed. The thought of her energy, freely given (and I know she’s happy, even better), gives me enough strength to barely nod. I find the energy to put my hand on her back and feed.

Later I talk to her, and is she tired? No. She has no “energy”. I feed for A MINUTE AND A HALF STRAIGHT, and she’s not tired. Might she get it?! Oh no.

Problem #2: My mom. Okay, I tell my mom a lot. Apparently, this is rarer than it sounds, but anyway, I told her I’m a vamp. I can’t even tell if she believes me, but she is certainly not sympathetic. And when I haven’t fed for days, she wants to know why I’m not doing homework, and I’m just thinking, “Damn my homework, I can’t think right now.” But of course I can’t say that because I’m supposed to be the perfect little girl, A student, teacher’s pet, yadda yadda yadda. I just want to say, “Damn that, too. I’m tired of it. I’m NOT an A student, I’m a person who happens to get A’s. And just because I’m smart doesn’t mean I have to be perfect!”

No mom, I’m not going to drink or do drugs or anything; I don’t want to mess up my body and my mind. But what if I’m tired of being the model child? If I can’t think, I’ll get all the questions on my homework wrong anyway, so why do it if I can get the same grade with no extra stress on my undernourished brain? Gimme a break, dammit!

Contributed by Mindbound


I have never drunk another’s blood, and yet I feel like I have a thirst for it; nothing too strong yet, but still to fulfill this would be an experience worth testing. However, I know of no one who would even be comfortable with the idea, and fewer who would agree with it. I am a quiet person, and for this reason I am secluded at social places where I know no one… and yet I am drawn there at times, to sit amongst them in silence. My quiet nature causes difficulty in expressing any form of vampirism, and a long list of enemies and an extreme feeling of paranoia force me to hide further. (This paranoia also brings in the extreme worry of contracting a blood-borne disease.)

I have an extreme aversion to sunlight. I have never gone out in less than a long-sleeved jacket and even cloudy days can make me cringe; I find myself searching for the shadowed areas for comfort. Although this aversion has shown no signs of being detrimental to my health, it is still a pain in the arse. Also, sleep is a problem; my daily sleep patterns are as follows: 4-5 am till 7-8 am, then getting up for college, then sleeping again from about 4-5 pm till 6-7 pm. Weekdays I sleep all day (which isn’t a problem), but spending six to eight hours at college with only two hours of sleep is a bitch, — more so on the hotter, sunnier days when my thirst is greatest. Apart from these, the rest of my basic problems have already been named by others.

Contributed by Daniel

[On to Page 8]

I’m the founder/creator/page slave of Sanguinarius.org. I’m in my early-to-mid 40s. I have 2 special kitties and a good man.

More info later.

See my website, Sangi’s Corner, for more about me.

Sanguinarius E. Sanguinarius – who has written posts on Sanguinarius.org for Real Vampires.


About Sanguinarius E. Sanguinarius

I’m the founder/creator/page slave of Sanguinarius.org. I’m in my early-to-mid 40s. I have 2 special kitties and a good man. More info later. See my website, Sangi’s Corner, for more about me.
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