Fun Vampires Have, Page 2

Do vampires have fun? Yeah, despite all the problems we have, we still manage to have some fun. We have more fun than blondes. Here’s some of the fun we have, some of the silly situations we sometimes find ourselves in… I’ve nicknamed this section “Freaking the Mundanes” (with a nod to Leslie Fish, who wrote a filk song of the same name about the SCA).

Seeking contributions and input. All submissions become the property of Sanguinarius: The Vampire Support Page, and will be considered for inclusion herein. Submissions may be edited. If you have an experience that you would like to share, send it to me, but let me know that it’s for Fun Vampires Have, and that it is OK to include what you wrote.

–Sanguinarius

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School sucks with all its big windows and such. I still find fun, though. Since I have a very weak heartbeat and my skin is always ice-cold and I have no color in my skin, I trick people into thinking I’m dead. Also I tend to be very quiet, so when I go up to people and say “Hi”, I scare the shit out of them. There’s a lot of other stuff, like if I go someplace with a lot of people, they run away even if I don’t say anything.

Contributed by Evilness


Here is some of the fun I had when out at the mall…

One evening I decided to go to the mall just for something to do (it had been a long day). After walking around for a while I went over to the cafeteria/food court; when I had finally gotten a table, I noticed this guy who was watching me and it was really getting annoying. So after about 15 minutes of this guy looking at me, I looked back at him and glared over the top of my sunglasses and (having naturally long canines) I smiled at him mockingly. Well, he turned paper-white, stumbled and speed-walked out of the food court, which instantly made me bust a gut laughing! It was the highlight of my day to see him almost fall flat on his face when he tried to leave the table!

Contributed by Audrey


I am quite young, so there are many for to scare. One night, around 9:00 pm, I was standing far from the streetlight. A few of the more annoying people who put fresh ideas of laughter in my mind were nearby. A young boy asked if I would go out with him. He was quite beastly and grotesque. While I shuddered and shoved off a disgusted look, he grabbed me.

Ahh, yes the beauty of it all — pearly daggers flashed, and he was sent away while I flicked my fingernails triumphantly. I smiled evilly, and progressed toward the rest of the group. They backed slowly away as I continued walking forward towards them, though it was the way I went home. As they walked across to the other side of the street, I chuckled as I entered my home.

It can be very delightful when fear factors must be used for defense. 🙂 Though some, I feel, can sense a strange air, and progression is a shallow-minded attempt to extract your guarded secret.

Contributed by Alika Grim


I was sitting at the bus station, alone. Having not had a donor in quite some time (months, in fact) I decided that since no one was there I’d open one of my wounds and have a taste. I looked up to find a horrified old man staring goggle-eyed at me. I had been so focused on what I was doing that I hadn’t even noticed him. I looked up and smiled sheepishly, (having forgotten to clean up first)…and he crossed himself and ran back onto the elevator. Oops!

Contributed by Jthe Wretched


Every year, my friend and I go downtown the day after Thanksgiving and watch the lighting ceremony. We had been shopping earlier and I had just picked up my new fangs (I’d finally saved up enough to get the ‘Interview with the Vampire’ double bicuspid set) and I never go anywhere without my cloak. We got stuck in front of one of those radical religious groups that scream through the whole thing about how the world is coming to an end and such. Well, I got upset because I could not hear the music playing. So I popped in my new fangs and put the hood up on my cloak. I approached them as if I were interested. One of them asked to see the face of the soul he was saving and I pulled down my hood giving him a huge smile. He turned white. I then grabbed his coat and pleaded with him to make me human again; the rest saw and they all bolted, screamin’ that Satan had just touched John. It was great!

Contributed by Moira Eve


My best friend and I were out at the mall when her boyfriend, Justin, showed up. I have some possession problems with him over our friend. All three of us are vampires. So when we exited from Hot Topic, we started fighting over where to eat. I wanted Chinese and he wanted pizza. Well we started one of our hissing matches in the middle of the mall. Our mall has a strange echo and once we start it, it’s very hard to get us to stop. Finally I won when he got tired, and when we looked around to see where my friend went, all we saw was that we were in a pocket of emptiness. All the people in the food court and the rest of the mall were watching us. My very abnormal canines were showing as I grinned and bowed to the audience. Justin was laughing hysterically as the people slowly backed up and turned to run. It was the most fun we could have had.

Contributed by Destiny, a.k.a. Raven


This was the year before, and I have had many people ask me if I was a vampire or comment on me being one even though I don’t even point out that I am (which I wouldn’t, — who would?). Anyway, it was when I was in the Mental Hospital for “self-mutilation” and being diagnosed as Schizophrenic. I was only in there for about a week, and the first few days some guy thought I was gothic, like the rest of the morons think just because I wear black. After a few days without speaking to anyone, being pissed off because I didn’t belong in there, I finally told him I wasn’t goth. But for some strange reason, everyone in there had gotten a strange vibe from me, out of fear I think it was. I’m sure, because they were all trying too hard to be friendly. I almost felt sad for them…heh. I remember that I wore my sweater with the hood on because I can’t stand lights; too sensitive to the eyes.

One lovely night at dinner out of nowhere, he said, “You’re a vampire, aren’t you? I don’t know man, you scare me.” He was dead serious too, I could tell. I didn’t smile, I didn’t grin; it was more like I looked at him as if I were about to jump up and attack him and feed off of him (that would have been nice though). I gave him a reassuring stare that he was correct. Then I acted like nothing happened and went back to staring at my untouched food. No one at the table spoke, either. They just stared at me for a while and I realized it would be a good thing to not say anything. I thought that was one of the funniest things, it even surprised me. How could one hide such a thing? I thought I did, but I guess I was wrong. I couldn’t stop laughing in my head that whole night after. Yes, I am a Sang… So I had nice dreams that night, but also torture, teasing.

Contributed by ~Die~


Not too long ago, a few friends of mine and I went to this little restaurant called “Norm’s”. It is about five blocks away from my house, and the food is pretty good. Now, my friends, Ravven, Casey, Jake, David and Danielle, were all with me the night we went to hang out at this place. It gets a fair amount of business, so there was a decent amount of people there, even if it was 1 a.m. (We are all vampires, and we all work nightshifts so we can sleep in the day and stay up late.) So we were all set down at Norm’s and ready to get some drinks and just hang out, when someone I had not seen in at least two years walked in. Now, this guy was an ass all during the time when I was in school, and he had not changed. Seeing as he knew who I was, and who a couple of my friends were, he took a seat next to our table with his friend. Well, our drinks arrived and we were talking amongst ourselves when he started making funny faces at me, imitating vampires and biting and such. So I said to him, “Do you have a problem, sir?”, and he replied, “Oh no, I was just wondering if you had bitten anyone yet?”

He had never believed in vampires and never believed that I was one, or that my friends were. So, I shrugged him off and went on with our conversation. A few moments later, he started doing it again. So I turned to him and said, “Ok look, do you want to see me bite someone? Is that it?” And like the poor fool he was, he nodded and replied, “Yes.” So, with a smile on both of our faces, I scooted my chair back, and Danielle perched herself on my lap. Now, I have long canines and eyeteeth, so it is somewhat of a double set I have, and they are very sharp (as in I can draw blood by pushing my thumb into them). I spread my smile and opened my teeth, putting a set of small holes at the base of Danielle’s neck (nothing dangerous). And started to drink a bit. After that, I just openendedly let the holes bleed a little after my mouth was nice and red. Well, the old high school chump and his friend paled completely white. They could pass for chalk…

After that, we went on laughing and conversing when we had cleaned up. But, it was very funny to see someone I always hated run out of a restaurant, throw up and speed off in his truck. Very funny. But do not try the whole biting thing unless you know what you are doing; inexperience can cause damage.

Contributed by Drashan The Oracle


One morning before school, I decided to wear black lipstick and black eyeliner, just to see what people would think. Most everyone liked it, but it was obvious that one person didn’t. I was in a bathroom checking my makeup when some jock-ish, prep-ish male around my age walked in. I looked at him with a glare (for effect) and grinned….showing my canines. He spun on his heels and walked right out of the bathroom! I didn’t see him for the rest of the day.

Well, that’s a short little bit of vampire fun I had a few days ago.

Contributed by SpEnCeR
emulationist88 (at) yahoo.com


I was at this party once and this guy came up to me and asked if he could get my digits. I told him that I already had a boyfriend and he got mad. When I left the party, he followed me. I went to my apartment and grabbed the fangs I had just gotten the day before. Then I left and started walking down the street. When the guy walked up and grabbed my arm I turned and growled at him with the most evil smile possible. He shrieked and ran off, about breaking his neck while doing so. It was so funny that I busted up laughing and couldn’t stop. Needless to say, he never came near me again.

Contributed by Dracara
smileecrackmonkee (at) earthlink.net

[On to Page 3]

I’m the founder/creator/page slave of Sanguinarius.org. I’m in my early-to-mid 40s. I have 2 special kitties and a good man.

More info later.

See my website, Sangi’s Corner, for more about me.

Sanguinarius E. Sanguinarius – who has written posts on Sanguinarius.org for Real Vampires.


About Sanguinarius E. Sanguinarius

I’m the founder/creator/page slave of Sanguinarius.org. I’m in my early-to-mid 40s. I have 2 special kitties and a good man. More info later. See my website, Sangi’s Corner, for more about me.
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