Donors’ and Vampires’ Guide to Negotiations

By Deacon Gray

In every relationship there is a process, a time period when we learn about each other and what the expectations both parties hold for the relationship. The process for Vampires and Donors is no different then any other relationship, yet there are some questions and issues that should be discussed between the vampire and donor that are a little more complex.

The intent of this essay is not to tell you how to regulate or order your relationship. The point is to present to you a guide. This guide is basically a series of concepts, suggestions, and questions that could be used to help ensure that both parties are fully informed, kept safe, understand the expectations of each other, and the requirements and limitations that each side holds to be imperative to a successful relationship even in the short term. It’s a negotiation guide if you will.

Part One: Meeting for the Negotiation

New Contact:

  • Set an established date, time and public place for meeting
  • Ensure meeting place will be appropriate and consider secondary meeting place
  • Contact trusted friend and inform of meeting information
  • Take a friend if possible
  • Designate safe call
  • Ensure that meeting is not considered a “Date”, or “Going out” as not to set expectations.
  • If a follow on time of getting to know each other is proposed ensure the above are considered
  • Designate if Alcohol is acceptable for meeting (I suggest not to allow it)

Familiar Contact:

  • Set date, time and place for meeting
  • Ensure the meeting place is comfortable for the subject topic.
  • Ensure that the meeting and reason for meeting is the only subject matter at hand as not to confuse the meetings intent.

Part Two: Medical Aspects for Consideration

  • Discuss Blood Born Pathogens and proper blood testing
  • Make information about proper testing available
  • Discuss Health issues:
    • Illness that could contribute to injury: anemia, Hemophilia, Diabetes Etc…
    • Talk about medications one might be taking like blood thinners
    • Consider any mental or emotional disorders, and the treatment utilized if anyDiscuss any allergies one might possess that are pertinent like latex, Iodine or Shellfish.

(Note: It is important to be sure that you are made aware of any physical or mental issues that could result in harm to either party. Proper health screening and pathogen testing is highly recommended.)

Part Three: Discovery

Personal info that needs to be shared:

  • Have you ever been implicated in, wanted for, arrested for, or convicted of a crime
  • If yes what Crime and what was the circumstances
  • Is the person married
  • Is the spouse aware of the activities
  • Can the spouse be contacted
  • Is there anyone that can be asked about your reputation in the community

Part Four: Expectations

  • Is a purely Monogamous relationship expected
  • Is the relationship simply for donations
  • What behavior is acceptable or not. (Like is it ok to have more then one donor, is it ok to have one donor and multiple lovers?
  • Will blood be stored
  • If stored is anyone else allowed to use it
  • What obligations are expected in the relationship?
  • What amount and how often are donations acceptable
  • Is there a mark or symbol of protection or responsibility
  • What information is considered confidential

Part Five: What Method to Use

  • How will Psi feeding be conducted? (i.e.)
    • Physical contact
    • No physical contact
    • Astral connection
  • How is Blood Feeding to be conducted (i.e.)
    • Medical Blood Draw
    • Needle syringe
    • Sterile Knife
    • Scalpel
    • Lancet
  • How is Eros Type feeding to be conducted (sexual vampire) (i.e.)
    • Flirting only
    • Light physical contact no direct intercourse
    • Heavy physical contact no direct intercourse
    • Direct Intercourse
    • Passive observation

Part Six: I.C.E. and Aftercare

  • Who should be contacted In Case of Emergency (I.C.E)
  • Alternate contact
  • What is the method of aftercare? (Is the person given a band aid and sent home? Are they bathed and massaged? Are they taken shopping or to a show…basically how do you ensure that after the donor has given you want you desire, that they are taken care of and looked after until they are home safely or in the hands of another, OR positive assurance can be given as to the over all well being.)

Part Seven: Final considerations

  • Where will the donation take place?
  • Who will be there?
  • What is the address (if unknown)?
  • Who will know?
  • When will it take place?


Deacon Gray comes from the Northwest United States and resides in Southern Idaho. Over the past few years he has enjoyed writing and learning in the vampires community, and has found great teachers and friends that he speaks highly of from many different aspects of the community. His projects include work he does for the Vampire Nations and the community web-based magazine called The GraveYard Press. His passions include writing, study, and watching good movies, but he believes that nothing is as important as his family. “I just like to look at things from as many different ways as possible; you stop learning when you stop seeking to see other perspectives.”

Deacon Gray contributed the articles “Genetic Biochemical Interaction Theory”, “Donors and Vampires Guide to Negotiations”, “Aftercare for Donors”., and “Naked After Dark: Interview with Lady CG”.

Website: Graveyard Press

Sanguinarius E. Sanguinarius – who has written posts on for Real Vampires.

About Sanguinarius E. Sanguinarius

I’m the founder/creator/page slave of I’m in my early-to-mid 40s. I have 2 special kitties and a good man. More info later. See my website, Sangi’s Corner, for more about me.
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