In this section, I present stories of (mostly) younger vampires’ awakenings and experiences while going through their awakenings. If you are a teen or school-aged vampire who has awakened, is awakening, or an older vampire who awakened during your teens, and would like to share your experiences, please send me your story. I’m also interested in hearing older vampires’ experiences for awakenings that occurred later on in life.
–Sanguinarius[Back to Index]
Hiya, my name is Kate and I am 15 years old.
My awakening first started about a year ago. I first noticed something different about me, I was very very pale, and growing fairer. Kids began noticing the second week of my first year of high school. The first thing they ever said to me was, “Hey whitey, is the sun your enemy?”. I was bewildered that someone had actually said that to me. I’m not meaning to sound swaggering, or above anyone, because that most certainly not how I am, but I hung with the ‘in crowd’. I was popular, I wore fancy preppy clothes, and hung out with the cheerleaders. I began wearing long sleeved shirts, hoodies and jackets, even when it was warm outside. The teasing only got worse. They started calling me Casper and Whitey. Eventually everyone began to chime in. I started to become dreadfully sad, because I started loosing my friends. They just didn’t want to be around me anymore, and I couldn’t understand why. Some said they felt uncomfortable around me, others said they felt as though I was changing. I found other friends, and began dressing differently. All my life, I’ve listened to rock, classic rock, metal and punk. So one day I went into Hot Topic and bought an Atreyu tee shirt, because I loved the band at the time. I wore it to school that week, and everyone began calling me ‘Emo’. “Why am I emo?” I would yell back. They would say, “Because you’re as white as a ghost, and you listen to emo bands.” They would crack up, and then I would usually get the sudden urge to attack them, and rip out their throats. I never used to be so violent. I started going through constant mood swings, and anger issues. I tried controlling them, but eventually my worrying mother found out. She said to me one day, “you’re going to the psychologist, this needs to stop Katie.” So I began going through immense therapy. I was diagnosed with a severe case of depression and anxiety.
As the year progressed, so did my dejection and rage. I had found a new friend, but she wasn’t a friend to look up to. She did drugs and had mingled with every person she met. Rumors began flying around about me being albino. People would come up to me and ask, “Is it true your really part albino. ‘So-n-so’ said your grandmother was full blooded albino.” Of course, I denied the rumors, but they only got worse. First, I was albino, then I was a lesbian, then I had done things with a girl, then I had smoked crack at play practice. I can’t even remember everything that went around about me.
One morning, I had awoken, and felt extremely thirsty, so I went downstairs and began chugging the milk gallon. It was like that every morning, from then on. I would wake up, thirsty, not hungry, as if I had eaten the most salty food on the planet that night.
Things moved exceptionally quickly then, all of it was too much to obtain at once.
I began getting migraines, true throbbing migraines, when I stepped outside into the daylight. Any type of bright luminosity made me wince. When the sun started coming out, and winter was over and it was hot outside, I would put my sunglasses on and go outside to layout and tan. The sun would start burning my skin, literally within 5 minutes. I would lie outside for 15 minutes, and come inside looking like a tomato. I would shower, and it would all peel away. I never was like that in earlier years. I would go outside, and play and get coffee brown tan. All of that faded away now.
The thirst began taking over. It was like I was dehydrated all the time. I just drank and drank, anything I could find.
Then I began noticing other changes.
When I went to take the school tests, for sight and hearing, I would not only pass them, but excel them. I had better vision then 20/20, and I can hear up to 22000 frequencies.
I didn’t really realize what I had awakened to, until I watched a horror movie. When I looked at the blood, it made me go mad. When someone would cut themselves by accident, I wouldn’t even be looking at it, and I could already smell it. I’ve been able to smell blood very easily for a year now. My friend used to cut herself, in front of me, when she was upset, and I could always smell it. It smelled rusty, but it made me thirsty. When she had gone to bed, I had pulled the razor she cut herself from, and licked it. I’d hoped she’d never had seen me do it.
My dinner tastes began changing too.
Me and my Mother always used to get well done steaks. After knowing my blood thirst, I figured it would be best to try medium. Every time we go out to eat, I would eventually go down the list, until I just started getting the steak rare.
I’ve noticed other things, like I smell things before others, sense things before others, and can see significantly in the dark.
And don’t EVEN get me started on the pain I go through. The urges, oh the horrible urges.
I don’t even sleep until 6 am now. I have to lie to my Mother, my poor caring mother because she would be terrified if she knew that I don’t go to sleep until 6. She’d take me to the mental institute if she knew.
I decided writing this, because I know now that I am truthfully a vampire. When I had read various articles on vampirism, and I read that I have the same symptoms as others, I just knew. I felt relieved that there was nothing wrong with me. I was so comforted to know that others had been going through the symptoms I had gone through as well.
I’m afraid I will never find someone that will be like me. Going through the same things I went, and am going through. I hope that someday, I will find someone to share the hard times with. But for now, I am alone.
I am home schooled now, and I continue going through this awakening stage.
Contributed by Kate
My name is Steve and I am 18. I am a sanguinarian and I hail from the unfortunate land of Australia (unfortunate for vampires, that is — you can guess why). You’ll have to excuse me, as my memory isn’t all that clear on some of the events of 4 years ago.
My awakening started when I was 13, almost turning 14. I guess I’d always been the nocturnal one of the family, the one who would want to stay up late on a school night and just watch the next show on TV, or the one who would complain about going to bed. I was also very, very prone to sunburn from a young age. Within 10 minutes of being on the beach I would turn into a tomato, and my skin would begin peeling. It was the summer of 2003 and the city I live in had just suffered from a huge string of bushfires that ravaged the land and burnt down many houses. My parents had planned a holiday up to the coast, and I decided to tag along.
The weather was insane. It was literally around 50 degrees (Celsius), and I distinctly remember trying to walk with some severe heat rash…not nice. As you usually are on hot days, I was EXTREMELY thirsty all day. Still being a young ‘un, I didn’t want just water, I wanted soda or cordial or something sweet. So I had a glass of raspberry cordial and surely enough I was thirsty again with two minutes. I had a glass of water and was thirsty AGAIN. I tried everything in liquid form in the tent — water, soda, coffee, tea, beer, wine…nothing seemed to help.
The cravings persisted for long after that camping trip, until about three or four months later, when I started to realize my senses had become more tuned, more refined…I was able to hear little noises that none of my other family members could hear; I could literally see spitting rain. I could suddenly see, hear and feel everything in minute details!
I can’t remember when it was that I got my first taste for blood, although I know one of the first instances — being summer, I would frequently be the recipient of bloody noses brought about by heat. I would sit in class staring off into space, feel something wet on my top lip, put my finger to it and see that I was bleeding. Every time I got a bloody nose in class a smile would come to my face — hell YES…I was able to get out of class! So I hurried to the bathroom and stood at the sink for about 15 minutes…As the blood flowed freely into my mouth I found a different smile on my face — those horribly persistent cravings had vanished. It took a week or two to put two and two together about the cravings.
Now, coming from a heavily Christian family really introduces you to the art of having a closed mind, so I freaked out. I couldn’t tell anyone — neither family or friends. My family would send me to a mental asylum or label me a Satanist (which they did in later years, more on that to come), and my friends would simply laugh at me for an hour straight, and then abandon me all together. So I began to keep a journal of what I was feeling, and also printed off articles from sanguinarius.org and stuck them in for research.
After about a month my Mum cleaned out my room and found the said journal, and all the snippets and stories that I’d written in there. Both my parents had a “serious” chat to me about being so caught up in this whole internet fantasy world, and being too “Gothic” and all sorts of crap like that. They soon started calling me a Satanist when I started listening to heavy metal music to relieve my familial tensions. I WAS involved in the practice of Witchcraft, but not of worshiping Satan. Every time they came into my room they took my journals, my spell books, my CDs and posters and burned the lot in a metal garbage can.
This was about the time I started wearing sunglasses in school, and was moving away from the “Jock” and “Gangster” groups I hung out with — mainly because they sat in the sun constantly, and I would be forever nagging them to move in the shade. After I moved from that group, I started making more friends, who somehow found out about me being a vampire (to this day I still don’t know how, and it seems like they just shrugged that part off. It’s like they don’t care, but they still know).
As a relief, I began practicing autovampirism. It helped with the Thirst only a small amount, but it was relief nonetheless. It would be two years before I found my first donor.
I graduated high school fairly smoothly and ended up in Year 11 (which is college for us). I soon found a nice little group of outcasts that I began hanging around with during school hours, and even sooner did the Thirst spark up again (after spending the entire school holidays trying to fight the bloody thing off!). I began getting migraines and severe drowsiness during daylight hours. It would take me a lot of effort just to stay awake for the fifteen minute bus trip home.
I’m not show how the question was provoked, or if they knew, but one of my friends suddenly asked me, “Would you like to drink my blood?” Of course, I jumped at the opportunity.
We went down under the shade of a tree near the lake, and sat down. She pulled out a sterile razorblade and made an incision in her wrist, and held it out of my mouth while I lay down and drank deeply.
I only fed from her three times, and after that, coming across a donor was hard to find, what with all the bad things happening around me and to me.
This year (2007), I stopped going to school and started hanging out with the freaks again. (I’d have to say Emo people are fun, because they’re always willing to cut themselves. thumbs up) Among those freaks, I found a few other Vampyres as friends. I have even found several donors who regularly let me feed from them. Even last night, I found out that my house mate’s best friend is a Sang. Small world, eh?
So I guess the moral of my story and my message to newly Awakened Sang/Psi vamps, those who are still Awakening and those going through the same sort of things I’ve gone through is to PERSIST. It may not be easy to put up with sunlight problems, the occasional burden of enhanced senses, and especially the THIRST, but everything gets better in the end. Never give up, and hopefully one day we’ll see YOUR Awakening story here, and I can look back on it and relate to the issues you experienced.
Please add me to your MSN Messenger — lord.astennoth-libertine (at) hotmail.com
I am always on the lookout for Vampyres to talk to on the internet. =]
Contributed by Steve
Hi there, I’m Tim. I’m 16 and I believe for the past few months I could be awaking.
I’ve always been a bit “different” per se. But for these past few months I’ve been seeing things about me that are closely if not exactly related to being a sang/psyvampire.
For the past few years, I’ve been able to read people and feel how they are feeling. It’s quite bothersome, really. But, as I was saying, I find myself staring at people and start feeling how they look (happy, sad, angry, etc.) and then feeling more, uhm, alive? I don’t know what word I’m looking for, but I’m sure you get the point.
But as for the sang part of this, I’ve always had a love for blood. The taste, smell, and sight of it overflows me with quite a few thoughts. My other friends and I have always shared blood just for the love of it. But lately I’ve needed to drink it or I would be sad, angry, or a multitude of other bad emotions.
The sun has always bothered my skin and eyes and gives me headaches. I rarely go out and I can see fine at night. I can hear other things people say they don’t, and so on. My doctor has even told me I’m not normal because my core temperature is always low and my heart beats slower and whatnot. (Could be from how much I weigh but hey, who knows?.)
I’ve always been interested in vampires. I have never had friends. The ones I do have are into vampires and the things of this sort, so I hold them close. My girlfriend has also talked to me about this. Her best friend is a sang vamp. As I was saying, over the past months things have changed in my life. The need for blood, the better sight at night, the hearing of sounds no one hears, and so on and so forth. So I do believe that I am awaking into what I really have in my body. Unlike some others though, I welcome this fully and understand what I must do for me to survive.
Contributed by Tim
So begins my story. I am 13, and am enduring my awakening. The other day, I came home early with a migraine and an extremely bad nosebleed; this happened for the rest of the week. My parents think there is something wrong with me, or I am inflicting this upon myself (I’m not). They are making me take sleeping pills at night, which do not help the slightest bit. I am going through a deep depression; many things have begun to change about me and the people around me.
I realised that I am a psivamp, because the people around me are tired and sick all the time. These headaches are not from the sun alone, I know that much. My mother has been watching the history of the computer, and finding that I have been on many vamp sites, so now she also thinks I’m crazy. I am so tired all the time; I found myself sleeping in the commons before school started. I don’t think anyone saw but…I guess you never know. I can’t control myself. I’m feeding off of energy involuntarily. I just can’t help myself. Am I crazy? Am I losing it? I really need some help right now. there are to many closed minded nils around me that I can’t tell.
I would really appreciate some advice. Please e-mail me if you get the chance. I just don’t know what to do anymore.
Contributed by Paige[Sangi note: If you have some advice for Paige, email it to email@example.com and one of my Helpers will review it and forward it on to her; some advice might be posted in Teen Vampires, if we feel it may benefit others, as well. [On to Page 7]