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Sangi's Corner

by g0th

Preface (Partial email response):

I think almost anyone claiming to be a vampire is addicted to blood in some way. I am called a vampire, yet I seldom if ever call myself that, as I don't like the term much. I consider vampirism either 1.) a learned immunity to the vomitive effects of blood, or 2.) a predisposition to being immune to the intake of blood. Neither require an addiction; neither are considered a medical condition except as an oddity, yet you will see ppl claiming to be vamps speaking of "the hunger", which is an addiction -- and like any addiction, has withdrawal effects. In all actuality, I can't say vamps exist or don't exist. I view it as a subculture. Like any subculture, it has faction groups; like any subculture, it claims to be better than the "mundane humans". So I am left in a very undecided state here... Do they exist? Do they not exist? The reality is that more things exist than we are willing to admit. Maybe belief makes someone a vamp, just as belief makes someone Christian.

I. Intro-type Thingy

Sanguinarius says that I have a death wish, as I don't hide behind some magikal veil o' secrecy (that seldom works). I also don't subscribe to the usual "accepted" views of vampirism. Many consider me a vamp, and yes, like many "vamps" I have felt "the hunger" or whatever it is being referred to as this week. Unlike most vamps, I beat it.

So bear with me here. My views are radical in the sense that most vamps don't hold them, so approach this article assuming that 1.) vampirism of any sort is not a real disease, condition, etc., and 2.) the hurting, feeling weak, sick, etc., are all symptoms of almost any withdrawal from a substance.

II. Blood: Rust Lust?

I started out as a normal child (you know...blowing up ants with m-80's; blowing up myself with slightly larger home-made versions), except I had/have a hypersensitivity to sunlight, was addicted to blood, and have what would be considered un-natural strength and speed for my frame.

At the time, I was looking for any explanation for the combo of traits. Vampyrism fit.

The bad news is this: My hypersensitivity to light is because I have blue-grey eyes, and can see into the lower infrared; my un-natural strength and speed for my frame is because I swordfight, and I am wiry. -- It isn't unnatural when compared to other swordfighters that have to keep moving to avoid a blow, and work out so many muscle groups it's pathetic. There's the difference between well-toned, and bulked up.

This still leaves us with the blood portion. But now that we've removed the other traits from the realm of the "super"-natural, let's do the same with the blood portion.

Ever since I was a child, I have had a bit of a fascination with blood. Having the speed of a swordfighter, and the evasiveness that goes with it, I turned to hunting. I never kill an animal, as the endorphin and adrenaline rush you get trying to subdue something for a tasty bit of liquid far outweighs the *cringe* satisfaction some people get by killing an animal. I also have a few donors, so I am never really lacking if I want some.

This brings me to the next point. Even with the hunting and donors, I haven't fed in a good many months.

III. Addiction?

Now while it is true that I can ingest an amount of blood that would make a normal person blow chunks everywhere (and give the enterprising person a chance to sell said blood-chunk covered items as modern art), I really had one major flaw... it governed me. Anyone that knows me knows that I don't like anything having control over me, especially something I see as beatable. So... here's how to beat the addiction and, depending on your point of view, become one of those cool "l33t vamps" you only hear about, or become just an ordinary (or extraordinary, depending on outlook) individual, that no longer hides behind a blood addiction and claims it makes them better than the herd they feed from.

First, realize it's an addiction, and view it as such.

Second, the next time you have an overwhelming urge to feed, or feel you "need" blood, hav a glass of OJ (no, not the murderer -- who knows where he's been?), and kick back. Meditate if it helps kill the feelings. What you want to do here is steadily space your feeding further apart than usual.

Third, once you have learned to kill the feelings to a point that you can deal with no blood for a week (for those who are hardcore daily feeders), or a month (for thsoe who are the usual once-a-week feeders), lengthen it out even more. Turn the one week into one month, turn the one month into two months.

Fourth, after a month or three doing the above steps, you'll realize that you really don't want to stop, and at that moment you will understand just how much of an addiction it is. So this brings us to the 5th step.

Fifth, now that realization has forced you to admit it's an addiction, you are almost free from it. -- And likewise, are free to feed whenever you want to, whether it be like me (every few months at most), or like you previously had fed, with no fear of the addiction taking over.

IIII. Aftermath

There are withdrawal symptoms, which is why I recommend meditation. Mind over matter works wonders, especially when dealing with addiction/withdrawal aftermath. Depending on how addicted you are, you can usually expect to have the shakes, stomach pains, a general feeling of being ill, maybe even a fever and profuse sweating in some cases.

The other aftermath is that you're vampy friends may view you as a traitor or crackpot for having the audacity to question what you are. But, on the plus side, -- always remember, -- if they claim to be vamps, and claim to have open minds, you can laugh when they bicker about you beating the habit, -- as all the bickering has proven is that they aren't as openminded as they believed when it is their way of life that comes under scrutiny.

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