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Vampyres and Donors: A Symbiotic Relationship
By Lady CG
Finding and Choosing a Donor
Most donors seem to prefer to choose their vampyres as opposed to a vampyre finding THEM. The problem is that we vampyres are often a bit too secretive for our own good, when it comes to finding our meals. If a donor cannot SEE you and KNOW that you are a vampyre, chances are they can and will never approach you and offer.
Want a donor? Be more public about being a vampyre! Donors cannot approach
you or offer to donate if they do NOT know you are a vampyre!
Fae kind are often kind, compassionate, and they can often recognize vampyres without all the effort involved in being what might seem to the average vampyre as "indiscreet" and obvious. In my personal opinion fae are by far your best choice if you can find one.
Weres are also a good and popular choice. Like faekind, therians often recognize vampyres without a vampyre being overly obvious. Weres are also very unlikely to allow a vampyre to overstep boundaries, since they are aggressive enough to demand fair and equal treatment. Because a therian has their own nutritional issues, they often understand, better than any other type of kin, the needs of a sanguinarian. The only drawback to this relationship is that it could get a bit tempestuous if dominance issues arise.
Otherkin are often easy to find. They tend to frequent the same kinds of online message boards as vampyres do, and appear to enjoy similar social situations, if they are social at all. Because otherkin are awakened beings, they tend to give you a lot less grief about being a vampyre and will seldom accuse you of being "out of your mind", unlike a human off the street or straight out of a nightclub.Cutters and Blood Fetishists. The first thing I need to mention is, when it comes to "cutters" (people who feel the need to cut themselves), please KNOW the person BEFORE you try to feed from them. The majority of people with this coping mechanism will be good, pleasant and mostly emotionally stable people... but not ALL of them are!
Watch for signs of being suicidal . . . take great care to NOT let them cut too deep or too often. Many "cutters" find emotional release in bloodletting, which is fine. They also require a great deal of emotional care and affection. Neglect and a cold vampyre are NOT what these types of donors need. If you find your donor is a cutter, be prepared to be gentle, kind and compassionate. Do not be afraid to give them a bit of extra cuddling, and affection. Kind attention is wonderful for this kind of person and with mutual acceptance, they can often blossom!
Blood Fetishists "get off" on bloodplay. Most blood fetishists I've met seem to think vampyres are "the cutest things!"... Finding a blood fetishist who is open enough to approach you is another thing entirely. If you're looking for more aggressive and sexual feeding than most types of donors offer, a blood fetishist might be the donor you are looking for. Check your local fetish clubs or look online on fetish related boards and e-groups.
"Normal" People. By FAR the most difficult to find, and hardest donor relationships to maintain are normal, well adjusted, everyday human donors. In order for the relationship to remain symbiotic and equal, there MUST be give and take on both sides. In order to maintain balance its really important to find out what YOU can give your donor in exchange for what you are getting from THEM.
This same issue crops up in donor / vampyre relationships where the vampyre's "mate", partner, spouse or "significant other" is the donor. If the relationship becomes too one-sided, not only does the vampyre lose their donor, you also lose your LOVE.
My advice? KNOW your donor. Know what they need to feel good and safe and happy with the status quo. Unless you absolutely KNOW that the person is happy with being the ultimate "sub", never assume that they are happy with vampyric Dominance.
Donors are precious, and hard to find. They are giving of their very lifeblood, voluntarily, to keep you healthy. Its not something you "deserve" or are "entitled to"; its not a right. -- Its a PRIVILEGE! Its about kindness, and it's about mutual respect. Treat your donor WELL, look after them, and they will probably be with you for a long time. Treat them badly, cause them to be unhappy, behave selfishly, and you deserve to lose your donor. And if you lose a donor in THIS way, don't bother whining to the rest of the community. Your pleas for sympathy will most likely fall on deaf ears.
...In other words, as a friend of mine says: "No Peeing in the Donor Pool!" (Thank you, Mustella!)
Blood Safety Issues
Taking care of your donor and yourself is part of the responsibility of HAVING a donor. Their health is linked to your own. Think about it,
How important is blood testing? It's 2005...HIV and AIDS are rampant. Hepatitis B and C can cause serious damage and even death. HIV testing is VERY important. Vampyres and donors should try and get tested at least every six months if possible.
Some vamps and donors use the Red Cross. While this is a good "back
up plan", its probably not the most THOROUGH way to be tested.
Try to get to a doctor or a lab. There are free clinics in the US if need
be. In Canada and many other places, a trip to your doctor is likely the
cheapest and best way to get a good reliable and thorough test for blood
borne diseases. There are vaccines now for Hep B and C, which both donors
and vampyres should look into,
How are you planning to feed? Lancets, cutting, blood extraction? Personally my preference is to let my donor make the cut, if they will. Some will NOT. This SHOULD be a "Donor's Choice" issue. Most donors have a favourite method if they are experienced. IF they -- or you -- are NOT experienced, I suggest you start small.
This is advice I picked up some place that I have always taken to heart: If my donor will NOT make the cut, only TOUCH the razor to the skin, enough to barely part it. When blood wells, stop, and drink.
BE GENTLE. Donors should be treated with kindness and respect, unless they LIKE it rough.
Donors... Insist your vamps are good to you. We need you, not the other way around.
Lancets. Lancets are a pen-like device used by diabetics to extract a small amount of blood for blood sugar testing. They are inexpensive and readily available without prescription, everywhere from Walmart to your local drug store. Lancets vary in price from 10 to 15 dollars and sharp refills are also very inexpensive. The beauty of these little babies is that they are completely sterile (if looked after) and its almost impossible to do any SERIOUS damage, as you can with a razor or a scalpel; though you should still avoid MAJOR arteries and veins.
Needles. Using a small needle and syringe is a viable alternative to lancets or scalpels. Though, its relatively painless, some people really can't stand needles and syringes. If this is the method you and your donors choose, PLEASE see the list below for articles and info on safe bloodplay! Learning to draw blood is NOT for the "do it yourselfer". Learn to do it correctly, and safely!
Like safe sex, safe bloodletting works best if you plan ahead. Keep everything you need close at hand, clean and sterile. Lancets, blades, alcohol swabs, Neosporin/Polysporin, bandaids, and a small first aid pamphlet such as "St. John's" gives out, are all essential if you are into bloodplay. A good book or website on phlebotomy is also highly advisable.
Education and care are the keys to avoiding "accidents" that are costly and dangerous to our donors. If your preferred feeding method involves licking and/or sucking on the pokes or cuts, a little travel-size bottle of mouthwash is also a good thing to have handy.
If you or your donors are into blades or scalpels there are additional precautions to adhere to for safety.
Cutting, if done right, should feel more like a fine point pen being
drawn across the skin; it should NEVER feel like a slice! Keep the cut
small to minimize scarring. Too little blood is by far preferable to too
much. If the cut is too small, you can always make another one. But never
take the chance of cutting, or allowing your donor to cut, too deep. I
keep "butterfly" strips around in case of emergencies; fortunately,
I have NEVER needed to use them. But, better safe than sorry.
Clean and bandage the cut(s) as soon as possible, especially if you in an area that tends to be hot & humid. Neosporin/Polysporin and a bandaid will do a lot to minimize or eliminate scarring. A little Vitamin E also helps a lot and saves your donor having to explain to family and friends that they just have a "really vicious cat".
Some donors clot better than others. I'll even go so far as to say that some donors clot too quickly for the comfort of their feeding vampyre. If you have a donor, who clots far too quickly, do not cut deeper or longer to compensate.
Blood flow can be increased by having your donor drink some wine, or
take aspirin, 20 minutes or so before feeding starts. A nice warm bath
is also excellent for increasing blood flow, cleaning the skin, and relaxing
Things to Remember:
Although it's all about feeding, your safety and your donor's safety are your number one priorities! If you or your donor is ever uncomfortable, STOP immediately.
Sterile equipment, gauze, and an antibiotic gel are your BEST FRIENDS! Clean cuts and lancet pokes before and after you cut or poke. Bandage IMMEDIATELY.
Shallow cuts in unobvious places are safest and usually most comfortable for your donor. Never cut "across grain" when cutting a muscle.
Exacto knives, while readily available are NOT the tool of choice! The edges are often rough and can lead to scarring, and the cut can be VERY painful and slow to heal. They are unsafe as a method of extracting blood and better left for their intended purpose... as a household or industrial TOOL!
Know Your Anatomy
Grab a phlebotomy book or online article. Be smart... be safe. Its the least you can do for the person providing your nourishment.
The following list of texts is generally available through www.amazon.com, or can be ordered through a university bookstore:
...and websites like:
Basic "First Aid" for Vampyres and Donors
First off: If you are going to indulge in "blood play", take a first aid course, or at LEAST read a first aid book and keep it HANDY! If you can't do that much for your donor, you should not HAVE a donor.
St. John's Ambulance and The Red Cross offer first aid courses that are excellent and it never hurts to have a first aid course on your job resume. Other courses are readily available in whatever country you reside, so there is really no excuse for not having one.
For those us without access or the financial means to take the above advice, take the time to read through the following online sites:
The question of how to minimize scarring for donors, comes up a LOT! What can be done to minimize scar formation? In order for a wound to heal properly, several ingredients are needed. First of all, the body needs protein to make new tissue. Unfortunately some people will scar, no matter what. If you have a donor who scars does, be certain to mutually decide if that is acceptable and how much is acceptable, BEFORE you cut!
Besides protein, the body needs adequate levels of the following vitamins and minerals to repair damaged tissue: vitamin A, vitamin C, vitamin E, selenium, and zinc.
All Vampyres and donors should buy some vitamin E capsules, or some of the new body lotion recommended for scar and stretch mark treatment. As the cut closes up start applying vitamin E (usually comes in ampules or gel caps that you prick with a pin and squeeze out the Vitamin E oil). It minimizes scaring in an amazing way. It also helps minimize infection and can save you a LOT of hurt and some serious marking later.
Donors should also take vitamin supplements. Vitamin C has been shown to speed up wound healing, and the amino acids lysine and cystine also aid in wound healing and skin growth.
Alpha-hydroxy skin lotions will also reduce scaring AFTER the cut is mostly healed. Alpha-hydroxy lotions contain a weak acid that keep molecules in the skin from cross linking which is part of how scars form.
Another product which works well for minimizing scar tissue formation as well as reversing existing scar tissue is called Scar So Soft. Scar So Soft is a mixture of several different herbal oils along with agents that penetrate and soften the skin. Scar so soft is available at https://naturedoc.com/secure/secure-orders.htm.
DISCLAIMER: The information and products suggested above have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration nor are they intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease. IF you have ANY doubts about what you are doing, TALK TO A DOCTOR!
Care and Feeding of Your Donor
Below are some tips and helpful hints for keeping a donor, from the donors themselves. Remember that:
Remember that a GOOD experience, as a donor, will encourage your donor to want to donate again. Many donors find the intimacy of feeding to be very addictive.
Be mindful of what is going on, and your donor's emotional state. The best vampyres for a donor are the ones who do not get too greedy and forget what is best for the donor, Its EXTREMELY important to actually give a damn if you hurt or freak your donor out...
Short term donors work fine when both parties involved know they are going to be short term, but I think sometimes vamps bite off more than they can chew. Needing to feed can sometimes make a vampyre tell a donor what they want to hear... and once they have fed they suddenly don't know what to do with the donor. Honesty is the BEST policy!
Donors and vamps just have to get used to some amount of rejection. It is
One shouldn't rag on your donors and swans in public, and one should not be overly detailed about how great your donor is. Feeding may just be feeding to some vamps, but to many donors its very intimate.
Emotionally burning a black swan in public seems to be very bad form!
I'd like to thank all the Donors who contributed to this article. Together we can make donoring safer and kinder for everyone!
Eerie America TV Series
Eerie America could very well be called The Fodors Travel Guidebook for The Addams Family. I read some in-depth information about the show and saw the promo, and from what I can tell, this will be an absolutely AWESOME series if they can get it off the ground. (I'm actually praying they will.) Let others know and see who can help. This is something that should happen! Let's pull together and make it so!
New Orleans Vampire Association
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If you would like to donate money, food, or supplies toward the cause, please click here for more info or to donate.
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